Motivation Monday- Miracles with Strangers by Lois Barth
Lois Barth-ACC
I help teams increase engagement and effectivity through communication and emotional intelligence | Keynote Speaker | ICF Certified Executive & Life Coach | Author & Igniter of Thought-Provoking Conversations
So by now, many of you know that my actual hobby is having conversations with strangers, not hi, how's the weather, but deep heartfelt existential conversations while waiting for the M11 Bus on my way to Trader Joe's.
Every day miraculous connections with strangers. Yup, I could've taken up learning the purl stitch in knitting, but instead, I knit together pearls of wisdom gleaned by chance meetings with strangers. It's one of the biggest things I've missed over the last year.
So Saturday night, my guy, Marty, and I were out. We actually did what I strongly suggest to my coaching clients, have a date night, whether you're coupled or with some friends (friends can have date nights too), do something different, interesting, but mostly what lights you up.
We got all decked out (well COVID-decked out) and went to a lovely restaurant, which by the way I had an attitude about from past experiences. The staff in the past (they were lovely that night) had a bit too much attitude for an establishment that still donned their peeled orange Howard Johnson's roof from 50 years ago, but everyone (and everything within reason) deserves a second chance. Plus letting go of past experiences and resentments is good for the soul. I digress, but in short, we had a lovely meal, and it made our evening special.
Just as the bill came, a group of 5 people was celebrating a birthday. They sang really quietly and the birthday girl blew out her solo candle on her cheesecake birthday cake.
I looked at Marty and he looked down, he knows the scoop. I not only have heartfelt conversations with strangers on the street, but I sing THE BIRTHDAY SONG, an elaborate song and dance rendition from my VERY truncated career (I performed once) as a singing telegram gorilla, yes it's true. He feigned terror in his eyes, pretending to be scared, but he's my biggest fan. "Do what you gotta do? But maybe I'll go to the men's room," half biting his lip.
"They are very quiet, maybe they don't want that much attention."
"True."
"Nope. I'll ask. They can always say no."
I walked over and casually introduced myself wished the woman Happy Birthday and asked her if she'd like to be sung to. She lit up. Her friends started cheering, and one asked if she could videotape. I said absolutely. God knows where it is on the net. I broke into my birthday song after finding out her name. She gave me a big hug (she vowed she was fully vaccinated!) and said how much she loved it and it made her night. I sat down happy to have celebrated her, a bit crestfallen to myself that I "wasn't in my best voice, a bit high pitched and a bit rushed," but whenever I sing I always remember it's not about me, it's about celebrating the person and letting them feel loved on.
While Marty was still "in dispose" she called me over and asked me to sit down. She explained that last year she was diagnosed with Stage 3 ovarian cancer and didn't expect to have a birthday this year. That December 2020 was her last chemo and how dramatically her life had changed. She said something I've heard from almost everyone I know who has had cancer and survived, that it was the most important thing that ever happened to her. Because she really understood what is important and what is not, and she no longer waits for the big stuff to make her happy, because she now knows that time is so valuable and life is so precious.
She ended by saying that I had no idea how much me coming over and singing to her meant, it was a further celebration of her life and the miracles that are in store for her in this next chapter. We both teared up.
I went back to my seat and was reminded myself of the miracle of synchronicity. That "if" I held a grudge and didn't go back to the restaurant, and "if" I felt too uncomfortable because the other table was quiet in their celebration, and "if this and if that," that magical evening would've never happened.
That miracles don't happen in the "if" or "maybes" or "should I's" they happen in the "now," the moment, when we listen, we trust, and we choose to celebrate ourselves and each other, by taking that risk.
What miracle will you be open to in your life this week?
How can you create a miracle for another?
I'd love to know.
Thanks for tuning in and not tuning out.