“Mothers who travel on business should be reported for NEGLECT”!

NUMBER 8 “Mothers who travel on business should be reported for NEGLECT”!

#bitchesintheboardroom bitch rating = 10/10

In all my 14 years of professional work, there have been few remarks that come close to this level of nasty, unjustified, pure bitchiness. This comment is SO heinous that I feel a little nauseous recalling the exchange when it took place. But…this needs to be retold, so let us begin…

I love travel. And I make no apologies for declaring so. For more than 10 years I have jetted the world over, connecting and collaborating, wining and dining, and making magnificent memories with all my fabulous colleagues.

From Auckland to Madrid, Hong Kong to Cairo, many of my colleagues I now famously count as friends and close confidants. The power of travel in business must never be underestimated, for anyone, at any level of seniority, at any time.

Truth be told, I had thought a lot about how my own attitudes to travel may change after having a family. My motivations may be different, I considered. Perhaps I would feel some ‘mum guilt’ when travelling on business. For example, if I missed my children take their first steps, or the time when one had been selected to act the role of lead camel in the school nativity. Particularly in the early years of the children growing up, it may simply have been best to stay grounded in good old Blighty, or, should it?

When the children were very young, I took a break from going away on long-haul trips. However, once they had all passed their third birthdays, I felt ready to pack up my stilettos once again and head out across the continents to do business.

FREEDOM, I thought. Time to enjoy the perks of business travel and listen to the delightful, dulcet tones of the pristinely-turned-out-aircrew whisper “nice to welcome you back on board, Mrs Broughton-Munford”. With a glass of Laurent-Perrier in my hand as the plane would prepare for take-off, I could only ever bring one thought to my mind – what a privilege it is to be a mother, wife and #womaninbusiness who travels for work.

But I suppose not everyone will agree with me….

I’d been planning to visit my colleagues in Hong Kong and China for a little while, pushing plans back by several months to make 100% sure that I was ready, and most importantly that my husband and children would be more than adequately catered for at home. There would be absolutely no way I was setting foot on a plane before I had Plan A, B, C and even D in place for them. My family are my world and therefore my number one priority. All the right provisions HAD to be in place whilst I was away.

Once I had indeed made and confirmed plans A, B, C and D, I boldly booked my travel. A whole 7 days away seemed a bit daunting, but also exciting, so I couldn’t wait to share my schedule.

All I needed was a prime opportunity when lots of the Middle Managers and Senior Executives were in the office. A Committee meeting day was inevitably the best choice.

On the day of the Risk and Compliance Committee meeting that I had gallantly selected for my opportunity to share, all the Middle Managers and Senior Execs had gathered for lunch. We all sat together in the staff canteen, where I gleefully advised of my plans for Hong Kong and China.

“It’s been almost 4 years since I last travelled to Asia” I declared, taking a slurp of the delicious carrot and coriander soup.

My then-boss, who was sat next to me joked: “Has Stuart [my husband] called in the reinforcements?”

As an aside…..my boss at the time was a brilliant male Director. A marvellous mentor and one of my biggest supporters. He knew and understood the beef I had (and still have) with the #bitchesintheboardroom so if he’s reading this article now, I hope it brings back the funny and ridiculous memories we have shared over the years…!

“Never mind reinforcements…someone needs to call the CPS*…..” interjected spiteful Cynthia.

*CPS = Child Protection Services (in the UK). “Keeping children and young people safe from professional child abuse, child exploitation, emotional abuse, neglect, and radicalisation.”

?….after hearing this next-level bitchery, I almost explosively exhaled the carrot and coriander soup directly out of my nasal passages. Was I really hearing this correctly?

“Whatever do you mean, Cynthia?” challenged my boss.

And then it emerged. The comment that will probably haunt me forever, not in the least because the carrot and coriander soup had burnt the lining of my nose as it made its way out with the G-force of a space shuttle launch…ouch…!

This is how spiteful Cynthia replied:

“Well, I just think that mothers who travel on business should be reported for NEGLECT!

It’s not right!

No mother should ever leave their young children at home, alone, to travel on business…!”

The entire table fell silent.

It was a very, very awkward 20 seconds before anyone felt brave enough to pipe up, changing topic so as to ensure Cynthia’s disgraceful comments had faded well away…..

I sat swirling the remains of my soup for the rest of the lunch period and reflected glumly on the exchange. Did spiteful Cynthia have a point? She was a mother, albeit of a much older son, but had never travelled for business. Surely she could never have understood the demands OR benefits it brings?

And I determined this…..

It is irrelevant what Cynthia, or indeed anyone else, makes of the way I conduct my business or manage my family life. The part that gets-my-goat the most about this exchange, however, is the fact that I know of many other mothers who have been on the receiving end of similar bitchy comments in respect of travelling. The interesting part is that it’s nearly always women who chastise other women…

I’ve never, ever heard a woman chastise a man who happens also to be a father, about travelling for business.

It simply was a horrid, despicable, downright bitchy comment to make. And that’s why Cynthia has hit the very top of the bitch rating scale with a phenomenal 10/10. If there was an 11, spiteful Cynthia would have probably also made that!

For any mother reading this who is undecided about when the time is right to travel again after having had a family, I can only tell you this. Go for it when it feels right for you and your family. You are the only judge in this matter.

But just remember….

The business class lounge will be calling you to sample the unlimited champagne and spirits that are always temptingly on offer.

But also, and in all seriousness….

No one should ever feel guilty about taking the brave step out there to travel again after having a family. The bottom line is your children will only ever thank you for working hard.

And that’s what makes it all worth doing. ?

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Author’s Note

The posts written under the hashtag #bitchesintheboardroom represent my own views and not those of my employer. Each account is written in my own words and contains some elements of storytelling and marginally fictitious events. No personal details of individuals or any specific information related to my employer are captured to maintain the highest levels of respect and privacy. Any comments or feedback on the posts shall be taken in the spirit in which they are intended. And finally, thank you to all the glorious boardroom bitches who inspired these tales. I salute you.

Krysta Broughton-Munford

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Bitch Rating Scale

1 = Very marginally offensive, possibly unintentional bitchiness

2 = Some bitchy intent, however limited in overall impact

3 = Inherently bitchy, but could still be passed off as accidental

4 = Minor bitchy commentary and content proliferated (usually publicly)

5 = Bitchy intent established, out to cause some damage

6 = Pre-meditated bitchiness likely, possibly a deep-seated hatred bubbling away

7 = Ouch - should that be escalated to HR?

8 = Extremely high level of bitchy intent, individual is a bona fide Grade A Bitch

9 = Rude and derogatory, definitely reportable to HR

10 = Another level of mind-blowing bitchiness, just stop….