A Mother's Reflection: Pause and Celebrate

This picture reflects both joy and angst. Seventeen and a half years later I remember the day so clearly. The way his pudgy little body felt in my arms as I gave up trying to keep my necklace out of his mouth. The spit-up on my blazer that I wiped away and hoped wouldn't show up later! He was almost 6 months and I was headed into the office to pursue all those childhood dreams I’d set so long ago.

As a child, I was the typical overachiever who would one day run my own company (after being a hairdresser, superstar, scientist and doctor). On this day, however, I just wanted to stay home and hold my firstborn.

Over the years, I learned to juggle all of my identities that sometimes seemed at war with one another. Like many parents, I struggled with and then got over the unrealistic notion of work-life balance and simply did my best. It took years for me to let myself off the hook though.

I traveled with my Medela pump, effectively led many teams, purchased (not baked) for PTA and classroom parties, scheduled, transported, attended countless kids activities, developed myself and others, delivered great work results, etc, etc. I also didn’t sleep, skipped workouts, let myself and others down, etc, etc.

But when I look at my now 18-year-old, who is going off to college to now pursue his dreams, my heart swells with joy and pride.

He is a good human! He is kind and driven. He knows how to take care of himself. Little by little I can see the man he and my husband have raised him to be. He's my person. Our hearts have an intangible and impenetrable connection. I am super excited about what God has in store for him!

To all the moms out there just starting out, in the messy middle, or enjoying the fruits of your literal labor- I see you and I feel you.

• In those big and small heart-swelling moments-pause and take it in.
• In those distressing moments when you have no idea what to do OR how you'll do it all-pause and ask for help (in any shape or form).
• In those moments you feel like the worst parent and the biggest flop at everything-pause and give yourself grace.
• And remember to celebrate all-the moments, big and especially small. You deserve that and so much more!