A Mother’s Heart: What My Mom Taught Me about Generosity

If you know me well, you know that my mother, Genevieve “Gigi” Cotton, more than anyone else, has made me the man I am today. This Mother’s Day, I’d like to honor her by sharing a little of her story.?

?A grammar-school teacher by trade and an entrepreneur in retirement, Gigi, possibly the most resourceful and?determined woman on Earth, influenced me in countless ways. Gigi has always been my protector, coach, and teacher. I’m her only child, and that has made us exceptionally close. Her words of wisdom still echo in my head: “Honor your parents. Give to others. Do what’s right.”

?There are so many stories I could share about Gigi — how she influenced my education and career, my sense of courage and my work ethic, and even my love of travel. But I can’t fit a book in this blog, so I’ll focus on one of Gigi’s qualities I’ve been thinking about a lot lately: her astounding generosity.

?“Honor your parents and your children.”

My mom grew up poor in Thomasville, Alabama, a very small town about three hours south of Birmingham. She said her mother, Viola Williams, used to tell her she wanted her to grow up to be like Eleanor Roosevelt, so Gigi set that as her goal at a young age.?

?Because of her humble beginning, Gigi developed a strong work ethic and dedicated herself to a lifelong quest for learning and capitalizing on growth experiences and intellectual pursuits. She babysat kids, cleaned houses, and sold eggs to save money to go to college. The first in her family to attend university, she earned a teaching degree at Alabama State and later added a master’s degree at the University of La Verne just east of Los Angeles. Gigi worked her way through school at the student grill, where she met a dashing young mathematics student and WWII Army veteran: James B. Cotton, my dad.?

?All her life, Gigi has never forgotten those less fortunate than herself. That’s why she wanted to become a teacher: to earn a living by helping the children and families in her community. After she married, moved to California, and landed her first teaching job, she kept others’ interests at heart. With my dad, who held a full-time job as an electrician, she ran a car wash and electrical contractor service business on the side.?

?The money raised by those businesses went toward my college fund. Before that, my mom's savings went toward another important goal: To build her mother, who still lived in Alabama, a new house. Mom helped her younger relatives and cousins, too, buying them clothes and ensuring they stayed in school and went on to college. She consistently sent clothes, money, and even non-perishable foods back home to Alabama.?When her mother became ill, Gigi moved her out to Los Angeles to live with us until she passed away.

?“Give to others, especially those less fortunate than yourself.”

At our house in LA, the doors were always open. Countless relatives and friends visited for weeks or months, and a couple stayed much longer. One cousin who had planned to stay two weeks ended up living with us for five years!?

?Mom kept an open heart at school, too. She spent most of her teaching career in the Compton Unified School District, working as a reading resource teacher at the John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, and Mark Twain elementary schools. Gigi often stayed at school late?and used her salary from teaching and working side jobs to buy students school supplies or even food and clothes.?

?In addition to her busy life as a teacher, entrepreneur, wife, and mother, Gigi stayed active in her church. She taught Sunday school and used her creativity to decorate the church and promote community events.

?When she retired, Gigi founded her own travel agency with my aunt Dee. In addition to running a successful business, it became another classroom for her, as she escorted fellow teachers and students, church members, and family members around the world. They traveled to Korea, Israel, Japan, China, Panama, the Caribbean, and several countries throughout Europe, South America, and Africa.

?Gigi has been a philanthropist in the traditional sense, too. With my dad, she founded an education and mathematics scholarship at Alabama State, which has been endowed with family gifts of over $100,000 for ASU students pursuing careers in STEM and educational fields.

?“Do what’s right at all times.”

Needless to say, Gigi’s generosity extended to me. Her role model Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness," and Gigi’s life has embodied that idea. She taught me to be kind and friendly, and she also counseled me to defend my identity and values. She taught me to speak for myself, be respectful, and expect the same from others.

?Gigi also instilled in me a deep desire to help people. At a young age, I joined her in raising money for charity programs and got involved in helping her teach and provide for underprivileged students in the schools where she taught.?Over the years, I’ve tried to follow Gigi’s model of learning and growing in my philanthropic life. I make space to give in various ways.

?One of my favorite experiences was being a Big Brother through the Big Brothers Program of Greater Los Angeles in the mid-1980s. I thoroughly enjoyed following in my mom’s footsteps and exposing a deserving young man to new opportunities and growth experiences. We visited museums, parks, beaches, and mountain trails, and we also spent quality time together at McDonald’s. When he was about 10, I took my Little Brother to the Beverly Center, a mall in LA. I needed to step away for a moment, so I sat him down on a bench and asked him to “wait right there.” Of course, when I returned, he was gone! I spent three hours looking for him before it occurred to me to think like a 10-year-old. I found him in the arcade with a big smile on his face.?

?In LA, I also raised money and collected food items in the aftermath of the Los Angeles riots following the Rodney King police brutality verdict. When I lived in Chicago, I participated in?Leadership Greater Chicago , which has a mission to “build relationships characterized by respect, trust, and understanding among leaders who represent the diversity of Greater Chicago in terms of race and ethnicity, gender and occupations.”

?I’ve also followed Gigi’s example by serving my church. In Chicago, I joined my church’s health ministry board and organized health and wellness programs, events, and advocacy. We worked toward improvements for people with cancer, HIV/AIDS, lupus, mental health issues, and general grief and healing. In Indianapolis, I served on my church’s holiday giving ministry and organized fundraising events and food and gift giveaways for underprivileged families in our community.

?These experiences and Gigi’s inspiration built a strong foundation. So, when I was invited to make a bigger impact by joining the board of directors for the United Way of Central Indiana, I jumped at the opportunity. For 12?years, I’ve served on seven different committees and contributed to an almost threefold growth in UWCI’s endowment. Through United Way, my church, and other organizations, I’ve helped raise more than $1 million.?

“Stay motivated and motivate others.”

Gigi is 92 now, and her light is still shining. I hope her story inspires you as much as she inspires me! Perhaps Gigi will remind you of your own mom or spark your desire to share your gifts with others. Our mothers, perhaps more than anyone else, teach us how to live, love, and give. I’m so grateful for all that Gigi has given me.