Motherhood, business owner, and everything in between.

2023, what a whirlwind of a year and a year where I learned so much about myself, my values, and most importantly gratitude.

If I could go back and give my younger self some advice it would be to stop comparing and let gratitude guide you through your adventure we call life. No one cares more about you than you do.

Your goals should only be centered around yourself and what YOU want to achieve and not try to replicate what someone else has built/done. They aren't you. They don't share the same values, morals, or life aspirations as you, so the only person you need to compete with is yourself.

That's what I would have loved to have known and embodied when I was in my 20's, it would have saved me so much unnecessary stress and silly goals that I was setting that had literally zero effect on me but how I wanted people to perceive me.

What a waste of time.

However, we live and learn eh and I guess the quote of "with old age comes wisdom" couldn't be truer.

The older I've become, the more my mindset shifts to what's actually important.

So 2023, I guess has been that year for me.

In January 2023 I had BIG goals.

• Big numbers to hit for my business
• Events that I intended to attend
• New podcast series to resume
• New product I wanted to bring to the market for women in tech

The list goes on.

My body had different plans.

My body was preparing for motherhood, which I had wanted for such a long time and I finally got there but it wasn't as I had expected.

I was expecting the pregnancy 'glow'. To have lots of energy with the healthy food I was trying to eat but couldn't keep down. To have lots of 'lovely' pregnancy photos etc.

Instead, I had developed pre-eclampsia, so was in and out of the hospital for weekly check-ins twice a week and was hospitalised several times.

Then came the stress of not being able to work to the capacity that I wanted to, because you know, I had set all those goals. 2023 was going to be incredible!

But wait, the tech market also had different plans.

• Companies were hiring less
• Some start-up clients had to be shut down as funding wasn't secured
• Clients pulling offers left, right, and center and rescinding signed contracts
• Clients making their workforce redundant

Do we get the gist?

But, I wasn't going to go down a negative spiral just yet. There are things to still look forward to and the market will turn around right?

3rd of June I was rushed into having an emergency C-section as I had suffered an eclamptic seizer and was passed out for an hour. I don't remember my son being born. I didn't get the 'beautiful moment' everyone speaks about when you hold your baby for the first time.

I was so out of it, that even hours later, I was trying to grasp what had happened and meet my son for the first time. Did I have that 'wow' moment when I held him? Nope.

So, that was the turning point that got me.

That's when ALL the comparisons started to resurface.

• "Why me"
• "Why can't I run a successful business and be a full-time mum"
• "Why can they do it, but I can't"
• "Why didn't I have the experience or year that I wanted to"
• "Have you seen XYZ, they are doing so well"

I had a bloody tough time after birth. My mental state was suffering. The start to motherhood that I had intended to have couldn't have been further away.

Months and months later (with lots of help from family and doctors) I started to reassess and try to take control of this horrible thing we know as post-partum depression, I started to see things differently.

The questions/statements in my head started to shift to:

• "Why not me"
• "I can run a business and be a mum, on my own terms"
• "Many people have had a rough year too, learn to weather the storm because it will pass"
• "Why am I comparing myself to business owners who are men!?"
• "Social media is a pretty cover-up for people to show only the 'nice' bits"

Etc. etc.

As December approached and with Christmas and the New Year right around the corner, I sit and reflect on how lucky and bloody grateful I am.

• How lucky am I to still be here (it could have been a completely different outcome for me)
• How lucky am I to have a beautiful, healthy little boy
• How grateful I am for my husband and everything he's done for me
• How grateful I am for my sisters, brother, and for my incredible mum
• How grateful I am to get to wake up every day in a warm bed and safe house
• How grateful I am to be able to have food on the table and clean water

How grateful I am, when I sit here on my sofa and look across the room and see my family smiling and my son bedazzled by the Christmas lights on the tree. I count my blessings and thank my guardian angels for this life, with all its ups and downs.

I've never appreciated being a woman and the body I have until now. We are bloody marvelous beings that don't give ourselves enough credit.

So, 2023, Thank you.

• Thank you for teaching me patience
• Thank you for teaching me gratitude
• Thank you for all the lessons (good and bad) I've learned
• Thank you for opening up my eyes to the important things in life

It's been hard but I finally understand.

Dear Reader:

If you have read this far, please be kind to those around you.

And if you or anyone you know has had a tough time, please know it's going to be okay and a simple check-in on those around you with a simple "are you okay", makes a heck of a difference. More than you'll know.

So, hug your loved ones, family & friends

Weather the storm because it WILL pass

Reach out for help, because you are worthy of it.

Merry Christmas and wishing you all a truly magical and wonderful New Year.

Love,

Valentina x