The Moth Redux: Pride and Overthinking

Here I am. A year later. Standing on the stage of the Marble Bar in Detroit.

This time, I have five minutes to deliver an unscripted personal story about Pride.

The spotlight was on me, which was a good thing because the glare of the light obscured most of the audience. I didn’t have to see them squirm in their seats, roll their eyes or head to the bar for a cold brew.

To be fair, the audience at Moth StorySLAM events is welcoming, encouraging and forgiving, as novices take the stage to share deeply personal stories. On the night I stepped into the spotlight they were more than kind and I received a warm round of applause when I finished.

The world is a stage

My journey to deliver my first Moth story on a stage started in the Marble Bar a year ago. I won’t belabor the origin story. You can check it out here: https://tomwickhamflint.wixsite.com/blogposts/post/to-tell-a-story-or-not-tell-a-story

What happened at the Marble last year set in motion a journey to better understand the art of storytelling, for personal and professional reasons. It led to me participating in a General Motors-sponsored Moth workshop and later inspired me to start The Cynical Communicator newsletter.

How I ended up at the Marble almost a year later was pure luck. I was asked by a GM colleague to join other GM employees for a fun night out watching and listening to people share their personal stories.

It was no coincidence that the topic was Pride, since June 1 was the start of Pride Month. The vast majority of stories centered on issues faced by the LGBTQ+ community. Some were touching: tales of love and companionship. Some were painful: stories about rejection and ignorance that threatened to tear apart families. Others were funny: revelations of awkward moments. Through all of them, a rebellious streak emerged.

All were authentic, and no one was using a script.

Preparation. Preparation. Preparation.

When I arrived at the Marble Bar, I grabbed a beer and hooked up with my GM colleagues. One of the Moth hosts remembered me from a year ago and asked if I planned to tell a story. I politely declined, saying the people in the audience had more compelling stories to share. Some of the GM team encouraged me to reconsider, so, I filled out the form, sat down and nervously sipped my beer.

The Moth advertises the theme well before each event, so people who want to present can prepare. No scripts or props are allowed, just what you have in your noggin. Memorization is discouraged because these stories are intended to be authentic.

The challenge for me was I didn’t do any prep work because I had no plans to present. And, since presenter’s names are drawn at random, I had no clue if I would be first, last or – as in 2022 – not called at all.

I needed to act fast and prepare my mental outline.

When the event started at 7:30 p.m. I had the basic elements in place. I knew how I wanted to start the story, had a general idea of the story arc and rough idea for the closing.

As the host announced the first presenter – it wasn’t me – my mind once again jumped into action, reassessing my plan. As each successive presenter approached the mic, my mind whirled and twirled in a flurry of ideas and panic.

I grimaced when a speaker – the eventual champion – opened his story in Chicago. Damn, I had a similar idea. I needed a new opening.

Fortunately for me, the Moth host called a break after the first five speakers. I stood up, dumped the rest of the beer and went upstairs, away from the crowd. While there, another guest stopped by and we chatted. I mumbled something about possibly presenting and he smiled, reassuring me I would do well and that he would be cheering for me.

That break and a boost of confidence from the stranger turned out to be what I needed. As I headed back to my seat I saw the host writing my name on the board. I was the opener for the second half of the show.

Game on!

Avoiding the overthinking trap

Technically, we’re not supposed to share details of our stories because the Moth records them for future use. What I can disclose is I feel like I nailed my opening – putting a twist so the Chicago angle didn’t come across as a retread of what the other presenter did.

As for my story arc, I took a little too long to flesh out the narrative, stumbling a bit when I heard the 5-minute whistle. I then rushed the closing to finish within the 1-minute grace period.

Relieved that it was over I headed back to my seat. My scores, which would turn out to be tied for last, were still respectable. On a 30-point scale, a little more than three points separated all 10 presenters. Not shabby for a bunch of amateurs.

I used my hour-drive home to analyze what I could have done better. What I realized was I spent too much time during the first half of the show overthinking the three elements of my story to the point that I was almost paralyzed with fear they wouldn’t be perfect. I forgot that the StorySLAMs are about authenticity, not perfection.

Fortunately, my subconscious took over when I opened my mouth because what came forth was nothing like what I planned. I slipped in some humor – but not too much – to grab the audience’s attention.

I was on a roll until I came to the middle part. The flow of the opening gave way to a sometimes meandering narrative and a close with little time to tie up the loose ends. By overthinking, I sucked a lot of emotion and life out of the heart of the story. Rather than letting it flow, I imposed an inflexible, mental script.

Lessons learned

Trust yourself and don’t second guess your story. Over thinking saps authenticity from personal stories. The Moth even stresses the importance of the stories to be true but they are not expecting every element to 100 percent accurate.

Prepare but don’t panic. Just because someone has a similar idea doesn’t mean your idea is worthless. You own your narrative so go for broke and lean into each element of the story. People won’t think you’re copying someone else if you show how passionate you are about the topic.

Have fun. Events like the Moth StorySLAM are supposed to be entertaining. Yes, they can be educational, but honestly, the audience wants to hear engaging stories. They love seeing the personalities of the speakers emerge throughout the evening.

Take the stage! Yes, check out a Moth StorySLAM near you. You will be surprised how invigorating the event is and will make new friends as a result. Who knows, you make even become a Moth star.

To learn more, check out a Moth event near you: The Moth | Live Storytelling Events