Most of the time it is a Secret

I have a confession to make: I often feel like an imposter.

You know, that nagging feeling that you don’t belong, that you’re not good enough, that you’re a fraud who will be exposed any minute. That feeling that makes you doubt your achievements, your skills, your worth. That feeling that makes you fear failure, rejection, criticism. That feeling that makes you avoid challenges, opportunities, and risks.

I’m not alone in this. I wanted to learn more about the background and ultimately decided to share it here, even though I am first to admit that I normally keep this to myself.

Imposter syndrome is a common phenomenon that affects many people, especially those who are high-achieving, ambitious, or belong to minority groups. It can affect anyone, regardless of their age, gender, race, education, or profession. It can affect students, teachers, doctors, lawyers, artists, entrepreneurs, and even celebrities.

Among those reported to have felt this kind of self-doubt are scientist Albert Einstein, athlete Serena Williams, singer Jennifer Lopez, and actors Natalie Portman, Lupita Nyong’o, and Tom Hanks.

Imposter syndrome is a psychological phenomenon that many high-achieving individuals experience. Even successful individuals like Maya Angelou, an accomplished writer and poet, have opened up about their struggles with imposter syndrome.

Angelou once said, “I have written eleven books, but each time, I think, ‘Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’” This sentiment highlights how even the most successful individuals can experience imposter syndrome.

If you’re struggling with imposter syndrome, you’re not alone. Some common indications of imposter syndrome include:

• Doubting your abilities, even when you have evidence of your skills and accomplishments.
• Feeling like a fraud and that you don’t deserve your success.
• Being unable to accept compliments or praise for your achievements.
• Constantly comparing yourself to others and feeling like you don’t measure up.
• Setting unrealistic expectations for yourself and feeling like you must be perfect in every aspect of your life.
• Fear of failure and perfectionism leading to procrastination, avoidance, and inactivity.

It’s essential to note that the intensity of imposter syndrome can fluctuate. Some days, you may feel like a fraud, while other days, you may feel more confident in your abilities. It’s normal to experience these fluctuations, and it’s crucial to have strategies in place to manage these feelings when they arise.

I have experienced this myself many times. Sometimes for months on end things are working and workload is intense and things seem to be fine. Then, somewhat suddenly the intensity is over, a point of reflection is reached and I often ask: “So what — did this make a difference?”. That’s when the feelings come back and stay for a while. It can get to a lot of depressive thoughts.

Some potential triggers of imposter syndrome include new challenges, significant life transitions, negative feedback or criticism, and comparing oneself to others. It’s important to identify these triggers and work on managing them to prevent imposter syndrome from taking over.

To cope with imposter syndrome, it’s important to seek support from others, such as a therapist or mentor, who can provide encouragement and guidance.

That’s part of the reason I always kept my coach and when he offered a lifetime program I jumped on it. While your family can be a great support, having someone external is a great addition.

It can also be helpful to reframe negative self-talk into positive affirmations and focus on your strengths and accomplishments. I am struggling with this. I get it in theory but it does not work well for me in practice.

Setting realistic goals and expectations and practicing self-compassion can also help to reduce the pressure that contributes to imposter syndrome.

I read about ways to overcome the issue and found the paragraph below. Strangely I have self-confidence in my abilities but still often struggle with the results. I include it anyways as we are all different.

In the long run, according to research, it’s essential to work on building self-confidence and self-esteem. This can involve working on developing new skills, taking on new challenges, and focusing on personal growth. It’s also crucial to acknowledge and celebrate successes and give oneself credit for accomplishments.

If left unchecked, imposter syndrome can have significant consequences, such as decreased self-confidence, a lack of motivation, and missed opportunities. Therefore, it’s essential to identify and address imposter syndrome and other similar issues to prevent long-term negative effects on your mental health and personal and professional development.

In conclusion, imposter syndrome is a common experience among high-achieving individuals, and it can be challenging to overcome. But by identifying the indications of imposter syndrome and seeking support and guidance, individuals can learn to manage their feelings and thrive both personally and professionally. I think I have it in check most of the time but it is a burden during certain times of each year.

Imposter syndrome is not a mental disorder, but rather a psychological pattern of thinking that can have negative consequences on one’s mental health, well-being, and performance. It can lead to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, burnout, and isolation. It can also prevent one from reaching their full potential and pursuing their dreams.

So how can we cope with imposter syndrome? How can we overcome it and embrace our true selves? Here are some strategies that have I have found in the literature and that have partially helped me and others:

• Recognize and acknowledge your feelings. Don’t ignore or suppress them. Instead, try to understand where they come from and what triggers them. Are they based on facts or assumptions? Are they realistic or exaggerated? Are they helpful or harmful? By being aware of your feelings and thoughts, you can challenge them and replace them with more positive and realistic ones.
• Talk to someone. Don’t suffer in silence. Find someone you trust and share your feelings and experiences with them. It could be a friend, a family member, a mentor, a therapist, or a support group. You might be surprised to find out that many people struggle with the same feelings as you do. You might also receive valuable feedback, advice, encouragement, and validation from them. Talking to someone can help you feel less alone and more supported.
• Celebrate your achievements — or as I often say: “celebrate teh small wins”. Don’t downplay or dismiss them. Instead, recognize and appreciate them. Keep a record of your accomplishments and successes, big or small. Review them regularly and remind yourself of how far you’ve come and how much you’ve learned. Celebrate your achievements with others and accept their compliments graciously. Don’t attribute your achievements to luck or external factors. Instead, own them and be proud of them.
• Embrace your imperfections. Don’t strive for perfection or compare yourself to others. Instead, accept your strengths and weaknesses. Recognize that no one is perfect and that everyone makes mistakes. Learn from your mistakes and failures and see them as opportunities for growth and improvement. Don’t let your mistakes and failures define you or hold you back. Instead, use them as motivation to work harder and smarter.
• Seek new challenges. Don’t avoid or fear them. Instead, pursue them with curiosity and enthusiasm. Try new things and explore new possibilities. Step out of your comfort zone and take risks. Don’t let imposter syndrome stop you from reaching for your goals and dreams. Instead, see it as a sign that you’re growing and learning.

Imposter syndrome is not something that can be cured overnight. It’s something that can persist throughout one’s life and career. But it’s also something that can be managed and overcome with time and effort.

I hope this article has helped you understand imposter syndrome better and given you some tips on how to cope with it and overcome it.

Remember: You are not an imposter. I know I am not — even though it sometimes feels like it. You are a unique and valuable person who deserves respect and recognition for who you are and what you do.