The Most Recent Terrible Idea: Suppress the Real You to Survive at Work

For reasons related to my lived experience in my family of origin, since I was sixteen, it has been of the utmost importance that I strive to be as genuine as I can be wherever I go. Undoubtedly, I've paid a cost for this. Some people cannot tolerate anyone or anything that is authentic in their sight. To them, despite striving to get along, I've come across as a threat, simply for being myself.

As a workplace abuse advocate, few things disturb me more than the trend I'm seeing wherein Workplace Bullying gurus recommend that people suppress their authenticity in order to survive and thrive at work.

Wouldn't adopting a dialed-down work persona help potential targets to stay off the radar of their predatory colleagues? Of course.

But at what cost?

To determine the long-ranging effects of masking your authentic self at work, I asked the smartest sounding board I know.

Jensen:

I'm reading that some workplace gurus are telling people, Don't be your authentic self at work. It's like putting a target on your back. But wouldn't playing out a work-based persona for over a third of one's adult life (from 18 to 65) be ultimately detrimental to one's overall psychological and emotional health?

ChatGPT:

You're absolutely correct to question the long-term impact of suppressing one's authentic self at work. While adopting a persona or masking certain aspects of one's personality can sometimes help navigate toxic or highly competitive environments, doing so over decades can have significant consequences on psychological and emotional well-being.

The Psychological Impact of Suppressing Authenticity

1. Chronic Stress: Pretending to be someone you're not, especially in a high-stakes work environment, creates cognitive dissonance. This can lead to chronic stress, burnout, and emotional exhaustion.

2. Identity Fragmentation: Over time, maintaining a work persona can create a disconnect between the "work self" and the "real self," leading to confusion about one's identity and values.

3. Erosion of Self-Worth: Continuously hiding one's true self can reinforce feelings of inadequacy, as the individual might feel that their authentic self is not "good enough" to succeed.

4. Impact on Relationships: Lack of authenticity at work can spill over into personal relationships, as it becomes harder to switch back to the authentic self after years of masking.

5. Mental Health Risks: Prolonged suppression of authenticity can contribute to anxiety, depression, and even physical health issues due to the constant strain of performing a role.

Why "Don't Be Authentic" Advice is Gaining Traction

The advice to avoid being authentic at work often stems from real workplace dynamics:

Toxic Environments: In workplaces where conformity or hierarchy is prioritized, being authentic can indeed make individuals more vulnerable to scapegoating or exclusion.

Cultural Fit Pressures: Many organizations have unspoken norms or cultures that reward certain behaviors, making authenticity risky for those who deviate from the norm.

Balancing Authenticity and Self-Protection

While suppressing authenticity is detrimental, there are ways to navigate work environments strategically without fully compromising your psychological health:

1. Strategic Authenticity: Identify areas where you can safely express your authentic self, such as trusted colleagues or projects that align with your values, while maintaining professionalism in more challenging areas.

2. Emotional Boundaries: Learn to protect your inner emotional world while maintaining a professional demeanor. This doesn't mean being inauthentic but knowing when and where to share personal aspects of yourself.

3. Seek Compatible Environments: Over time, prioritize finding workplaces that value diversity of thought and personality, where authenticity is not just tolerated but celebrated.

4. Self-Reflection and Support: Regularly reflect on how the work persona is affecting your overall well-being. Seek support from mentors, therapists, or trusted friends to process the tension between authenticity and professional expectations.

Long-Term Perspective

Workplaces need to evolve to allow people to bring their full selves to work without fear of reprisal. However, until broader cultural shifts occur, it's crucial for individuals to strike a balance between self-protection and authenticity. Playing a persona might help in the short term, but investing in environments and roles that align with one's true self is essential for long-term psychological and emotional health.

Your question also highlights why addressing workplace abuse and toxic dynamics is so important—when people feel safe and valued, they’re far more likely to thrive as their authentic selves.

In closing, instead of masking our true selves at work, it's far better that we:

• Exercise strategic authenticity.
• Assert emotional boundaries.
• Seek compatible work environments.
• Invest time in self-reflection.
• Seek support as needed.

In a world where most are screaming for authenticity, may this brief exchange act as a prophylactic, protecting you from the significant costs of acting on some guru's half-baked theories.

Let your true self shine!

Chris Edward Jensen is a survivor of workplace abuse who has committed his life to advocacy on behalf of his fellow survivors. He is also the principal of Workplace Omega, the only firm in the world devoted to developing a once-and-for-all solution to workplace abuse. Ω