The Most Powerful Question I was ever Asked...

The most influential and empowering question I was ever asked was "What do you REALLY want to do?" It sounds pretty straightforward right? After all, I was highly successful in my professional career and, as I transitioned out of that phase of my life into another, it was a 'given' that I would just step across into another high-flying career of my choice.

I had given the answer that I thought he wanted to hear, then the answer that my family thought I should do, then the answer that my peers suggested I would be 'best' at, then the answer that would at least provide some financial security, and so on. But none of those answers satisfied him. It took a while for me to realise that his question required more than just the 'standard' answers I was supplying. He kept pushing the subject, and every time I answered superficially, he asked it again and changed the emphasis, "What do YOU really want to do?"

Except, that I had to follow the most powerful question I was ever asked by one of the most frustrating and disappointing answers I had ever given. Three little words that summed up my entire life at that moment in time, "I don't know!"

I don't mind admitting now that it was a horrible place to be. I was at my lowest, anxious and scared about the future. The easy option would have been to take any job I could find, at least I'd be bringing money home and I could probably work my way to the top again in time. But all the while, I knew that I wouldn't be as happy as I had been when operating at the elite level in my previous life. I knew I wanted to make a difference and I knew with absolute certainty that any short-term gain could lead to long-term pain if I got this decision wrong.

The similarities between my career path and those of professional and elite athletes (as well as their coaches) is starkly apparent. So similar in fact, that when it comes to transitioning out of the career you have dedicated your life to (either because of injury or retirement), there really isn't much difference. For those who know what they would like to do (and there are many of you out there), you are probably wondering what the heck I'm talking about. The answer I gave wouldn't ever have even crossed your mind, and I am pleased for you.

But, the reason I established my service was because I know there are a significant number of current (or former) sportsmen and women from elite sports who are feeling the same way I did. How do I know? Well I work with some of them, and I hear from others a lot of the time, who are recognising they might need the support when they face the end of their professional career.

'Expressed Values' and 'Implicit Values'

Our lives are lived based upon our values. How we develop these values is complex and multi-faceted, as such everyone has slightly different ones. For most of us, when we are asked about our values, we will talk about our 'expressed values', the ones that we consciously associate with our identity and are happy to be linked with. However, we also have 'implicit values'. These are more deeply hidden within our subconscious but still exert influence on the choices we make.

In many ways both of our sources of values share common ground. The problem arises when there is a mismatch between the two. Without knowing why, this mismatch can lead to internal conflict and drive poor decisions based upon what you think you should do rather than what you really want to do. Un-informed decisions taken at this stage can result in long-term problems, such as feeling a loss of identity, feeling unfulfilled, angry and guilty - which in turn can lead to significant risks of depression and risk-taking behaviour.

For those out there who might be struggling, there is help out there, you just need to know where to look. It needs to be someone who has been there themselves, it has to be someone with no hidden agenda and someone who has the time and ability to support you through a challenging and often confusing time, and in strict confidence.

So, let me ask you; "What do You Really Want to Do Now..?"