Most Leaders Around The World Don't Admit Mistakes, Ask For Help, Or Show Emotion At Work & It's Killing Employee Engagement

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If you're a Chief Human Resources or Chief People Officer, then you can request to join a brand new community I put together called Future Of Work Leaders which focuses on the future of work and employee experience. Join leaders from Tractor Supply, Johnson & Johnson, Lego, Dow, Northrop Grumman and many others. We come together virtually each month and once a year in-person to tackle big themes that go beyond traditional HR.

In my brand new book, Leading With Vulnerability, I interviewed over CEOs and surveyed 14,000 employees around the world with DDI. We asked everyone what it means to be a vulnerable leader and then we asked the 14,000 employees, how many of their leaders exhibit the qualities of a vulnerable leader. The results were astounding to say the least!

Before I show you some of the CEO responses and the data, here’s how I define what it means to be a vulnerable leader in my book :

A vulnerable leader is a leader who intentionally opens themselves up to the potential of emotional harm while taking action (when possible) to create a positive outcome.

For example, you admit to making a mistake at work and take action to fix it and review what you learned. You share a personal challenge or struggle at work to build trust, connection, and get support. You ask for help and take action to get the necessary training required to get up to speed. The intended outcome is positive and you take action when you can.

While vulnerability has been talked about for many years now, it’s clear that vulnerability at work (specifically for leaders) is not the same as it is in our personal lives. We have a different dynamic at work with hierarchy, employees, bosses, projects, deadlines, customers, salaries, and the like. My argument is that simple being vulnerable at work, where you show up each day talking about the gaps you have, can cause more harm than good. The solution is to not just sharing the gaps you have, but demonstrating what you are trying to do do close those gaps.

I looked at the common themes and patterns that allow leaders to unlock vulnerability as their greatest superpower. But as with any superpower, the hero wielding it needs to know what they can and can’t do, what amplifies and diminishes their powers, what the limits of those powers are, and how to use them with purpose.

Here are a few of the definitions that CEOs shared with me on what it means to be a vulnerable leader.?

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I have around 100 definitions from various CEOs, just like the ones you are going to see below.

What does it mean to be a vulnerable leader?

“It means being humble, understanding that nobody has all the answers, including you, and that there is no need to cover this up, change the topic or bully others until you get your point across. This is the opposite of what a good leader does. Be humble and show up in situations as a human being with gaps in knowledge and perspective. Show full acceptance of those things and be open to learning from other people.”

-Roel Vestjens, President & CEO of Belden Inc., a leading global supplier of digitization and network infrastructure solutions with over 8,500 employees.

Vulnerability is about transparency. Sharing what you are doing, why you’re doing it, and where your team can play a key role. It’s about being transparent and expressing your failures, weaknesses, and insecurities when it’s relevant. By doing so your people will appreciate and respect you for it.

-Bill Hornbuckle, President & CEO, MGM Resorts International, 62,000 employees

?“It has everything to do with learning and admitting out loud that you as a leader don’t have all the answers. That you are a part of a learning journey where you are pointed towards a better future for the team or organization you are leading.”

-Penny Pennington, Managing Partner (their term for CEO) of Edward Jones, a Fortune 500 financial services firm, 50,000 employees.?

“It means being open to being wrong; accepting that you need to receive feedback positively and knowing that having the best people around you for decision making is far stronger than thinking you know everything yourself.”

-Lorenzo Simonelli, Chairman & CEO, Baker Hughes, 54,000 employees.

“Vulnerable leaders are humble and empathetic people who put mission ahead of ego. They act transparently and embrace feedback. They are driven by a spirit of continuous learning and improvement, and proactively work with mentors, peers and others to get feedback and learn from it. They seek to understand what truly motivates people, to see through the platitudes and understand what gets people excited about their work.”

-Kathy J. Warden, Chairman, President & CEO, Northrop Grumman, 90,000 employees.

“What a vulnerable leader means today is very different from what it meant in my earlier years. Vulnerability used to be something you tried to eliminate so you didn’t have vulnerable leaders. Today, it’s about being who you are and sharing the feelings you have, the struggles you are faced with, and areas you need to improve in. It comes down to connecting with your people and being able to unlock the best in everyone. -Jim Kavanaugh, CEO & CoFounder, World Wide Technology, 9,000 employees.

Next, let’s take a look at what 14,000 employees around the world said.

As you can see in the chart above the top responses included:

• Genuinely asking for help or guidance from others
• Admitting to personal mistakes or failures
• Acknowledging challenges the team or organization is facing
• Acknowledging personal challenges or shortcomings
• Acknowledging when there is risk or uncertainty
• Showing sincere emotions and feelings

These responses were compared across seniority levels, gender, and high-potential versus non-high potential participants with minimal differences. For example senior leaders and C-level executives placed “admitting to personal mistakes or failures” as number one instead of number two and senior leaders also placed “acknowledging personal challenges and shortcoming” as number two instead of number three but the percentage difference was small.?

Shockingly, only 16% said their leaders display these qualities of vulnerable leadership often or always when appropriate. This means that most employees around the world work for leaders who don’t usually ask for help or guidance from others, admit to personal mistakes or failures, acknowledge challenges the team or organization is facing, acknowledge personal challenges or shortcomings, acknowledge when there is risk or uncertainty, show sincere emotions and feelings, or do any of the other things on the list.

This of course creates a culture where employees don’t trust their leaders, where nobody is engaged in the work they do, where productivity and performance suffers, and where burnout is high.

The solution to all of this is to encourage more people inside of our organizations to lead with vulnerability.

If you don’t do these things as a leader, then why would anyone else who works with you do them? More importantly, would you want to work for a leader who didn’t do these things?

We need more vulnerable leaders. You can start the journey with my new book, Leading With Vulnerability.

If you're a Chief Human Resources or Chief People Officer, then you can request to join a brand new community I put together called Future Of Work Leaders which focuses on the future of work and employee experience. Join leaders from Tractor Supply, Johnson & Johnson, Lego, Dow, Northrop Grumman and many others. We come together virtually each month and once a year in-person to tackle big themes that go beyond traditional HR.