Most Important Thing People Miss While Reading Body Language.

One of the most fascinating topics in psychology is reading body language. Perhaps it is one of the most studied concepts in psychology with tons of articles and videos available online. So, I am not going to present the details on how to read body language. Instead I will tell you what most people miss while reading body language.

Since body language depends mainly on the context, I am providing the context for this tip.

Context:

Where this won’t work: If you are reading the body language of a person in television show or if you are watching a person from far way then this tip won’t work.

Where it will work: If you are reading the body language of the person with whom you are directly interacting with, or if you are reading the body language of a person who acknowledges your presence somehow then you should remember one key thing before attempting to read the body language.

There is something that is influencing the body language of the person you are trying to read—Your Presence.

Yes, you read it right. You are influencing your subjects' body language.

I will tell you a story to better illustrate.

Once a giant (about 50 feet tall) came to a village. All the people in the village started screaming, running and throwing away the things. The people were thinking, “Oh my god! The giant will eat us”. But can you guess what the giant was thinking?

It was thinking— “Why are all the people running?!”

What the giant doesn’t realize is that people are running because of it. It is a direct reaction to the giant’s presence.

When you are in someone’s presence you inadvertently influence their behavior whether to ignore you or to look at you or to talk openly or to give you bad body language signs. There are other things that might influence that person’s body language like context, preconceived notions, situation, and other things in his/her mind. But remember by your presence you are influencing your subject to react to your body language. This becomes much more apparent when you are communicating with your subject directly.

Before making any assumptions about the person’s body language, make sure your body language is good, open, and welcoming.

When meeting someone new we need to keep an open body language and give positive signs like smile. Leave your preconceived notions at the door. Even after you displayed positive body language if the person you are interacting with doesn’t show positive body language then you can be sure that it is the person’s mistake not yours. To, change someone’s reaction to you, you just need to change yourselves. That is the first step in becoming truly charming.

Finally, the point of learning to read body language is to improve our own body language for the better.