The Most Important Question for Success: What Do You Really Want?

By Sharath Kumar R N

A group?recently asked me, "What is the one characteristic that helps successful people get where they want to be?" My answer surprised them: "That's the problem—most people don't know what they want."

This question might seem simple, but it strikes at the heart of a significant issue many face. How often do we truly pause and reflect on our deepest desires and true goals? Too often, we are driven by external expectations, societal norms, or what we see others doing. We chase after what seems like success because it's what we think we should do, not because it's what we genuinely want.

The Illusion of Success

Think about it. We live in a world where success is often defined by visible achievements: a high-paying job, a prestigious title, and a luxurious lifestyle. But these metrics, while outwardly impressive, don't necessarily equate to personal fulfilment. How many people do you know who appear successful on the outside but are unhappy or feel a sense of emptiness?

When was the last time you asked yourself, "What do I really want?"?

This question is more profound than it seems. It's not just about career aspirations or financial goals, but about what makes you feel fulfilled, what aligns with your values, and what sparks your passion.

The Power of Clarity

Most people drift through life, following a path laid out by others. They might achieve success in the conventional sense but often find themselves feeling unfulfilled or lost. The key to true success and satisfaction is clarity. Knowing what you genuinely want creates a powerful sense of purpose and direction.

For instance, I once coached a client who was excelling in a high-paying job but felt a deep sense of dissatisfaction. After some soul-searching, he realised his true passion was in creative writing, something he had always considered a mere hobby. Once he acknowledged this, he began to allocate time to his writing, eventually transitioning into a fulfilling career as an author. His newfound clarity propelled him towards success that was not just financial but deeply personal and satisfying.

The Preset for Clarity

The most astonishing fact is that although people talk about clarity a lot, their clarity is very superficial! What is assumed as clarity is based mostly on social conditioning. For example, one would be clear about earning X a month, but doing what? That which is in trend!?

True desire is totally neglected.??

So how to reach clarity?

That happens when one is rooted in unbiased observation and can observe oneself too without any justification/clarification. So, call spade spade.?

Hence, asking yourself, ‘What do I really want?’ is important but partial. This step must be accompanied by ‘Why do I want What I want?’ And then the real journey begins.?

It's a question that requires introspection and honesty. It may take time to find the answer, but once you do, everything else falls into place. You begin to make decisions that align with your true goals, and this alignment leads to a sense of fulfilment and purpose.

Practical Steps to Discover What You Want

1. Take time to think about what activities or subjects make you lose track of time. What do you love doing, even if there's no immediate reward?
2. Ask yourself, ‘why I want what I want?’ Identify the values that are most important to you. Is it creativity, helping others, financial stability, or something else? Knowing your values can guide you toward a fulfilling path.
3. Talk to trusted friends, family, or mentors. Sometimes others can see strengths and passions in us that we might overlook.
4. Don't be afraid to try new things. Sometimes we don't know what we want until we experience it firsthand.
5. Focus on what truly makes you happy, not what society or others expect from you.

Embrace Your Unique Journey

Finding and embracing your unique journey is so important that in Bhagwad Gita Krishna says that it is better to die walking on your own Swadharma than to flourish walking on someone else’s? Dharma.

Once you have clarity about what you genuinely want, you'll find yourself naturally moving towards the direction of your success. Your path will be uniquely yours, driven by your true aspirations, and that is where real success lies.

So, I challenge you today: take a moment to reflect on your true desires. What is it that you genuinely want out of life? Once you have that clarity, you'll find a renewed sense of purpose and direction. You’ll start making choices that resonate with your true self, leading to a fulfilling and successful life.

Remember, the journey to success is not about meeting external expectations but about aligning with your innate desires. When you know what you truly want, you create a roadmap that guides you towards a life of fulfilment and genuine success.