The Most Important Quality for Building Successful Relationships

Too much of anything is bad… right?

Seems that way. Especially chocolate donuts. NOT good for the waistline!

But, then I think about things that I know bring out the best in us-- and others. The best lesson I’ve learned in all of business and relationships is this:

There’s no such thing as being too persistent. Persistence is what leads to enduring success and relationships. It is the quality of champions.

Be persistent!

The people that get ahead, find their calling and love what they do all share the common bond of persistence that leads to bold opportunities and rewarding relationships.

Worried about being too pushy? Think you’re “crossing the line" with reaching out to someone to share an idea that will help them? You'll know.

But also know this — you can’t live in fear. You can’t get caught up playing the game inside your head of worrying what others might think of you. Sure, it’s wise to be concerned about your reputation. And reputation does matter.

But focus instead on your character. Focus on what you believe in and what you know will have mutually beneficial outcomes. These are things you really have control over. Do things in the name of virtue, for the benefit of others AND yourself, and do so with faith, optimism and joy in your heart. One thing I always tell high-achieving coaching clients is this:

Act with noble intentions when you’re persistent and always look to create mutually beneficial relationships that add value.

This requires thought! This requires imagination and devotion. This requires you to think outside the box in a binary fashion for your own best interest, as well as the best interest of the person you are looking to help. I recommend that you try these things.

3 techniques to build powerful, mutually beneficial relationships:

1. Take up the other person’s position. Great chance is — what you want most for yourself, the other person always wants for herself. Think about it — you may want new clients, you may want to advance an idea that will help with innovation. You may want to meet a mentor or someone that you really admire. When you come into that meeting with clear expectations and defined success for what you want, flip it on its head and ask yourself — what does that person want?

You can then work toward the outcome that will give that person satisfaction. Maybe you share an article with that person that has really resonated with you. Or you connect them to someone in your network that can help them grow their business. Always think of opportunity and you will always benefit. Be persistent. If you don't know, ask. If you're not sure, look for help. Don't ever settle.

2. Listen with deep presence and attention. There’s a remarkable power in listening with intent and concern for what someone else has to say. They come to appreciate you more. You end up processing valuable information more clearly. As Dr. Stephen Covey once said, “It’s a win-win.”

Dr. Guy Itzchakov and Avraham N. (Avi) Kluger write in Harvard Business Review:

“Listening resembles a muscle. It requires training, persistence, effort, and most importantly, the intention to become a good listener. It requires clearing your mind from internal and external noise — and if this isn’t possible, postponing a conversation for when you can truly listen without being distracted.”

3. Show don’t tell. What do I mean by that? This is one of the oldest adages in editing, and it’s applicable to all of our lives when it comes to building relationships and operating with persistence. Show someone the value that you bring to the discussion by demonstrating to them during the conversation — or immediately after how you want to help them. Here’s an example:

Someone may tell you that their business is having difficult attracting new customers because they don’t have a great branding strategy. If this ties in to your interest, you can do some market research and put together some great ideas and a plan to help them get customers to convert and buy their product. Give it away for free, and in doing so you will gain a great friend and potential business partner for life.

Be Persistent

Think creatively and offer value in return for when you ask someone else to give you value. Being persistent means consistently going after what you want. In order to do that, we have to build relationships. We need help on our journey. And fortunately, there are loads of great people all over the world who are willing to help you.

If you can’t offer anything in return, be willing to say a sincere, heartfelt, Thank You, and always be mindful that one day you can return the favor. Persistence- the will to keep going, to continue creating opportunities for yourself, building relationships and outworking everyone to achieve the results you want is your greatest asset.

You have 100% operating control over how persistent you are. Cast your worries and fears to the side and keep going when you believe in yourself and your dreams. You will attain the exact success that you want when you get specific and pursue it with vigor, efficiency and persistence.

Don’t worry about being too persistent. Maybe, ask yourself, am I being persistent enough? That's the right question.

It will make all the difference.

Visit Christopher on his website (chrisdconnors.com) to learn more about his keynote speaking, team-building workshops and coaching work with leaders and organizations. Christopher D. Connors is the author of The Champion Leader: https://amzn.to/4aIeJaw. He is also the creator of top LinkedIn Learning course, Leading with Emotional Intelligence.