The Most Important Lesson in Life (Memoir)

We make our fortune or misfortune with every decision we make. I am from a culture that is very protective of its children. Where it is unacceptable for a young woman to leave the family home before marriage or without completing her higher education. Leaving the country is unimaginable. My culture was once what almost prevented me from doing what I wanted to do.

My family always ate the evening meal together. I remember one dinner when the silence was unbearable. I was contemplating the mouthwatering aroma and imagining how delicious the stew must taste. While daydreaming, I swirled my spoon in my soupy dish until I decided to try it. I grabbed a little bit of that delicious stew, and as I was about to eat it, I heard a thump, the table trembled, and I felt as if I had woken up from a trance. I did not know what was happening. I released the spoon back to the plate splashing some of the brown gravy on my gray shirt. I looked up to my right in the direction of the loud noise, and there he was, looking at me with his dark eyes that felt like daggers digging into my heart.

“What do you think you are doing?” he said, as he stood up aggressively grabbing the edge of the table. He looked at my mom who could not contain her tears and said, “I don’t understand why she wants to leave behind her sport, the university, and us!” He then sat down slowly as if he knew that his words were not going to change my mind.

“Dad,” I said, “I want to leave Venezuela because of this new socialist government. Guillermo says ‘it will be the destruction of all of us.’ You must understand that I have many dreams. I am young! Listen, after hearing Guillermo talk about how socialism ruined Cuba--” I paused to organize my thoughts. “Dad,” I begged, “Four years have passed since Chavez took power. Things are getting worse, and people still support him.”

“Venezuela is not like Cuba! We are not an island,” he exclaimed. “I know dad,” I said softly while putting my right hand on my mom’s left thigh. I wanted to brace her for what I was about to say. “I made my decision,” I said. “I am leaving the country in thirty days. If you would excuse me, I am done eating.” I stood up and left the dining room.

I was resting in bed, looking at the ceiling and thinking that I could not bear those conversations anymore. I had told my family the week prior that I was going to move to the United States, and since then I had not been able to have a rational talk with my dad. Every conversation turned into a battle of words that left no winners, only a bunch of open wounds and scars. I fell asleep.

“Your mom told me that you want to leave the country,” said Dr. Mora, a renowned psychologist that my mom wanted me to talk to. “Why?” she asked softly. Tears started to flow down my cheeks. My heartbeat was accelerating, and my hands were sweating. I closed my eyes.

 She touched my knee and said, “That is ok. Take your time.”

“I don’t see a future for me in this country,” I said while wiping off tears of my cheeks. “Socialism seems like a messed-up idea that is making things worse just like my Cuban coach has said.” I then continued to explain to her that it was getting hard to practice my sport because of government restrictions. Gun control measures were enabling armed criminals because those who followed the law were restricted from owning guns to protect their families. I wanted to own a business after I graduated, but this government kept expropriating businesses. After a long talk without interruptions I concluded, “This is not what I want for my life. Please don’t tell me I shouldn’t go. I am tired of arguing with mom and dad about my decision,” I pleaded.

“Your mom is convinced that I am going to change your mind, but I am not going to do that,” she said with a smile. I looked at her, perplexed as if I could not believe what I was hearing. “With that said,” she continued, “You must know that the most important lesson in life is that only you are responsible for everything that happens in your life. If things don’t go your way in the U.S., you won’t blame anybody but yourself, because it is your choice to move away. Do you understand?” she asked. With my eyes wide open I replied, “Yes! I understand.”

“Very well,” she said, as she stood up. “Call your parents and tell them to come.” She then walked to the window and whispered, “It is time for them to accept your decision.”

Every decision is packed with consequences that can drastically change the trajectory of our lives. Leaving my country, my family and the possibility to go to Athens 2004 was one of the most challenging decisions that I have made in my life, nonetheless the most positive and rewarding one.

There is no turn back, LIVE!