The Most Important Decision I've Made

I had a mentor in college who told me this over and over again. He would say, "In the grand chessboard of life, the queen of all decisions isn't your career path, the city you choose to live in, or even your health habits. The most seismic choice, the one that echoes into generations, is who you decide to partner with – specifically, who you marry and eventually have children with." If I reflect on the last 10 years of my life, I'm beginning to think that I just got lucky. My wife, Haley has been so incredibly supportive of my ridiculous lifestyle and the decisions within it. I would not be the man I am today if not for her.

Let's not sugarcoat it: who you marry is an economic decision as much as it is an emotional one. In some of these essays, I talk about things like mergers and strategic alliances. Similarly, in the market of life, choosing a spouse is akin to the most critical of mergers. It's a union that has the potential to amplify your strengths, buffer your weaknesses, and fundamentally alter your trajectory – both professionally and personally.

But here's the catch – unlike a corporate merger, you can't conduct due diligence over spreadsheets and market analyses. This decision demands a deep understanding of yourself and an unflinching examination of your partner's values, goals, and character.

Consider the economics of marriage. Statistically, married individuals tend to accumulate more wealth than their single counterparts. But, delve deeper. It's not just about two incomes versus one; it's about the synergy of shared goals, mutual support, and the economic efficiencies of a shared household. See the chart below from census.gov .

In a world where economic stability is increasingly elusive, choosing a partner who aligns with your financial values is not just prudent, it's essential. I know for me, Haley was instrumental in our starting S1 Technology? . I was in a place where I had a good job working with people I liked. Most spouses would selfishly shun the idea of their partner attempting to defy gravity and start a business from scratch. Not mine, she basically forced us to do it.

But this story is not just about picking the right partner and celebrating the upsides, there's a more sinister side that more people should consider. While the economic benefits of marriage are clear, the devastating financial impact of divorce is a stark reality that cannot be overlooked. Divorce can have a substantial economic toll on both parties involved. I mean, the process entails legal fees, potential alimony, child support payments, and the necessity of dividing assets. As you can imagine, this division often results in a significant reduction in individual wealth. Studies have shown that divorced individuals typically see a marked decrease in their standard of living, with women often experiencing a more pronounced financial impact than men. The economic aftermath of a divorce can reverberate for years, underscoring the importance of not only choosing a partner wisely but also planning for the potential financial ramifications of a marriage dissolving. To better illustrate this, consider the following chart, which outlines the average financial impact of divorce.

However, wealth isn't just measured in dollars and cents. Emotional wealth, the kind that stems from a supportive, loving relationship, is invaluable. My wife is my confidant, my cheerleader, and, at times, my therapist. The emotional dividends I'm paid by our strong, healthy relationship fuel success in other areas of my life as well. I know that if I neglect my marriage, the cost is steep.

In this context, the choice of a spouse becomes a multi-dimensional decision. It's about finding the balance between emotional connection, shared values, and life goals. It's about recognizing that this decision shapes not just your life, but the lives of your children and even your children's children.

So, as you navigate the complex waters of relationships, remember: this decision is your legacy. It's about building a life with someone who not only complements you but also challenges you to be better, every day. It's about creating a partnership that stands the test of time, through the trials and triumphs that life inevitably throws your way.

The stakes are high, the rewards are immense, and the impact is everlasting. In the grand scheme of life, this is the decision that defines your personal and generational legacy. Make it count.