THE MOST EXPENSIVE COST IN LIFE: LOSING FOCUS

I decided to cook my favourite food (rice and beans) for breakfast before going for my important meeting in the afternoon, scheduled for 2 pm. I started picking the beans around 9 am. I dropped the bean’s shafts and dirt on my right side while I dropped the picked beans inside a neat bowl on my left side. I had picked up to half a cup of beans when I received a call. I quickly stood up to fetch the phone.

After ending the conversation, I became distracted. I kept wondering why my colleague told me the meeting was cancelled. Though he had said the people called off the meeting because they were no longer interested in the project. My mind became so restless and I kept thinking of what and where we might have gone wrong. What would have made them lose interest in the project? Is our project not good enough? but we had a meeting last week and this week was just to finalize everything. They had shown so much interest in the project and even praised us for coming up with such a mind-blowing idea. What could have happened within one week that has made the people take such a drastic decision to drop the project? Thousands of unanswered questions kept flooding my mind. How I wish there was a section of answered FAQ that I could check up in my mind.

Well, I decided to resume picking the beans. After 10 minutes, I took the picked beans to the kitchen. I wanted to throw away the dirt in the bin when I noticed that it contained more than half a cup of beans. How come? I quickly checked the beans I thought I had picked and saw lots of dirt in it. I could not believe that I was dropping the dirt in the bowl while throwing away the beans. It means all the time that I thought I was picking the beans; I was just wasting my time. It was so frustrating! I just couldn't believe it. I was even mad at the beans. I was like even if I was doing something wrong, shouldn’t the beans tell me to do the right it and stop throwing it away while keeping the dirt? Then again, I told myself, stop being a fool. If the beans had spoken, would you still be at your apartment? I had done a good job picking the beans until I got distracted (after receiving the call) and it ruined everything. I had to start all over again to pick the beans.

This is what happens anytime we lose focus on what we are doing or where we are going in life. Whenever we lose focus, we will have to start all over again from where we started. It will be a waste of resources (time, energy, money). When we have done everything we know best and at the end of it we couldn’t get the positive result we expected, we might tend to lose focus and want to give up on everything. We become so frustrated that we tend to give up on our goals, our dreams and in extreme cases, even give up on life itself (suicidal thought).

Stress, anxiety, depression, rejection, fear, frustration, challenges etc. could make us lose focus in life. The truth is that life will not always go the way we plan it, therefore, we also have to be prepared to plan whatever life throws at us. We can’t always be in control of everything happening to us, but we can be in control of the things we allow to get to us.

At times, we later realize that the things that we allow to stress us out the most, don’t worth our time at all. But most times, we always realize this too late. I got distracted from picking the beans because I was told the meeting has been cancelled. I kept thinking of what or where or when we had gone wrong. I thought the problem or fault was from us and I let that thinking to get the best of me. When I got to know that the project was dropped because the president of that organization was just being greedy, then I knew I owe my mind a serious apology for making it restless over the issue.

The president of that organization got another offer that was promising to his pocket and he didn’t care about doing the right thing and moving the organization forward. He was promised a 60% share of the total project cost if he allocates the project to them. Eventually, he lost at both ends because the ones he allocated the project to were fraudsters. The president was disgraced in office and was removed. The project was refunded and was allocated back to us after 3 months.

The fact that your application was rejected doesn’t mean you are not good enough. The fact that you were told “No” doesn’t mean that you don’t worth it. The fact that you were denied an opportunity doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve it. Never let anyone make you feel that you are not good enough, most especially when you know your self-worth. So don’t throw away everything you have done just because it didn’t work for you as expected. If it doesn’t work now, trust me it will work later. It is just a matter of staying focused and not letting go of your dream or goal in life.

I heard the story of a photographer whose work was rejected for an exhibition. The photographer thought she has come to the end of the road. She took all her project work and threw it away outside her house. It rained that day, and somehow the pictures got carried away by the flood. Three days after, she received a call that changed her life for good. The editor-in-chief of the exhibition magazine called her directly to discuss her appointment. She was shocked because it was the same fashion company she had submitted her work to and was told it wasn’t good enough and that it wasn’t what they were looking for.

The editor-in-chief told her that he saw some pictures at his backyard (obviously carried by the flood), he checked it and he was like this is exactly what we need for the exhibition. So he checked for the photographer’s signature on the picture and used it to trace her. The lady explained that she had previously submitted her work to the company but the editor-in-chief said it didn’t get to him, that he was showed some other work. She eventually got her dream job.

Don’t ever let any disappointment make you give up on life. You are good enough for whatever you set your mind to do. I am an advocate of personal development and growth (improvement). I believe it is important we improve on a daily basis. Nonetheless, we have to acknowledge and appreciate where we are now. You are good enough, even as you aim to be better. Never believe otherwise.

Stay focused on your dream. You can’t afford to be distracted for a minute. Distraction could cause you to lose out in life. If a leading Olympic athlete gets distracted as she approaches the finish line, she will lose to her opponent. It doesn’t matter how close she is to the finishing line before losing focus, she will definitely lose everything. You don’t know when you will get to that life-changing turning point, where all your hard work will be rewarded with success so don't you ever think of giving up. You don’t even know if you are already there and all you need is just one more step. Imagine giving up, when you just need to take one more step.

Don’t stop believing in your dream and don’t stop pushing the boundaries to make it happen. Just keep taking one more step. If you can’t walk, please crawl, but don’t ever give up on your dream.

If you have lost focus already, don’t worry, life itself has given you a second chance because you are still breathing. All you have to do is to pick up yourself from where you are and be determined to make things right. Remember, I didn’t hesitate to pick the beans again, well that's because I was determined to eat my favourite food. Be determined to succeed!

Get your priority right! Understand what made you lose focus in the first place so that you can learn from experience. Organize your life and decide what commitments are most important to you.

Don't run away from your demons, face it.                                                                      

Stay Focused! And you will achieve the impossible.

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