Most Brains Fear Love. Does Yours?

If you were lucky, as a young child you gave love freely. You would play with anyone, laugh at anything and gladly accept a warm embrace.

At that time, it would have been hard to separate you from love. They were one and the same.

Over time, society taught you to change your ways. You learned all the reasons why love was inappropriate or ill-advised. You learned who was worthy of love, and who was not. ("Sean isn't cool. Stay away.")

You realized that offering love made you vulnerable to rejection and possibly even insults. ("That dork actually said s/he loves me! Can you believe it?")

As a result, your brain took over. It figured out how to protect you from pain. It started sorting everyone and everything into two categories: Not Worthy of Love vs. Worthy of Love. For most of us, that first category is by far the biggest.

Here's the problem: the longer the Not Worthy list becomes, the less time you spend in a loving state.

Even worse, in the absence of love, fear often fills the void. After all, there are so many people who your brain has classified as dangerous, dumb, ignorant, misguided, uncool, odd, unreliable, self-absorbed or flawed. You live in a state of fear—perhaps under the radar of your consciousness—that you might make a misstep and get too close to the wrong person.

When this happens, who loses?

You.

Instead of being the embodiment of love, you are the embodiment of fear. If you are often impatient, angry, tired or frustrated... this may be the reason why.

Now that you are an adult, the healthiest way to live is in a constant state of love. That means you allow love to flow through your body... love for trees and plants... love for colleagues and clients... love for friends and neighbors... love for children and small animals... love for yourself.

(Quick reality check: did your brain flash a warning at any of those statements?)

The more time you spend in a state of love, the better your life will be.

To achieve such a thing, you need to realize that your brain is pushing you in the opposite direction.

Your brain is trying to protect you from love, rather than trying to heal you with love.

Your brain is saying, "Love is dangerous."

In reality, the opposite is true. The most dangerous trap of all is to live day after day not feeling love.

Not to be rude or anything, but it may be time to tell your brain to stop being a fearmonger.

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