The Most Beautiful Thing We Can Do Is Listen

Early in my corporate career, I got the chance to spend quality one on one time with a senior executive (Russ Kerstetter) in the Fortune 100 company where I worked. I asked him what piece of advice he wished he would have had 25 years ago. He asked for some time and said he’d answer me later. When he answered me, it was four words: Become an intense listener.

I took his advice to heart and viewed it as a gift. I was 30 years old at the time and way more interested in talking than listening. That had to change. Listening became foundational in my approach to relationships, which are critical in my approach to teams and leadership. I began making the act of listening a daily practice. I realized that listening is a superpower. Especially in our society today where attention spans are at a minimum and competition for our attention is at a maximum.

Many people do not feel heard. Think about the things you say that fall on deaf ears. It happens at work, at home, in school, and just about everywhere else these days. People are simply not listening, at least not very intently. To listen, we must release the noise we carry along inside of us and let go of the noise around us. We must make the other our focus. We must make the situation our focus.

Listening is a divine activity and the first step towards love and understanding. There have been many insightful things said about listening over the years. A couple of quotes:

The Dalai Lama says, “When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.”

Jerry Colonna says, “Listening opens that which pain has closed.”

Good listening is a universal currency and sometimes it’s all people need – simply to be heard. Most of us want to be heard, acknowledged, supported, and understood. Through listening and careful attention, we become equipped to serve the needs of others.

And we will undoubtedly get that chance.

When that chance arises, we can deliver love through speech, action, or sometimes more listening.

We can practice good listening through maintaining eye contact, paying attention to words, non-verbal communication, and how the other person is feeling. It’s helpful to visualize and empathize from the other person’s point of view. This means we are listening to understand and experience what the other person is feeling and expressing – we are not listening to respond.

Once we make listening a practice in our lives, things begin to change. We notice more. We become equipped with ways to serve others and situations with skill, utility, and love. We gain insight into the people in our lives, what’s important to them and what they need. Having this information is great, however it’s of no value without action.

Knowledge is wonderful. Action is intelligence.

We can act on this knowledge by making listening a practice – and using what we learn to serve others.

The most beautiful thing we can do is listen.