THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PART OF YOUR BODY IS THE MIND

Four and half months ago my world turned upside down. My mum had been rushed into hospital by ambulance in a post-seizure sleep.

In the months leading up to that traumatic day, her cognitive state and behaviour had rapidly declined, leading to a neurologist diagnosing her with Alzheimer’s in early December 2023. I can still remember the exact moment my wife came to my table at a restaurant – whilst I was hosting a team lunch – to tell me of this devastating diagnosis. I was numb, and for weeks I went on (what seemed like) a hopeless mission to try and find a fix.

You see Simone Backner is not like most mums. They broke the mould with her 65 years ago; one in a billion they say! She lit up a room with her boundless energy, enormous heart, joie du vivre and funny quirks that we call ‘Simoneisms’. She touched everyone she met and on that day the world suddenly seemed empty and dark. It was such a huge shock.

Up to that point I had never properly suffered loss. I thought I had, but I really had not. In the weeks before her hospitalisation, I struggled to come to terms with ‘my loss’ and my ADHD became almost uncontrollable, both to the detriment of my family and work.

For the first time in my life, I shut down from reality. I became disengaged and unmotivated. I lost my Chutzpah. I knew the only medicine to pull me out of this rut was family and love. And my family – particularly my wife, children, sister and dad – have been amazing.

Then I was introduced to a special person called Nicky, a one-of-a-kind business psychologist who has mentored uber successful people in business and people with ADHD. We hit it off right away, as she was straight to the point. No BS!!! She got me to deal my loss and taught me how to harness my ADHD superpowers to allow me to get back in control and become a better version of myself in the future.

Whilst people talk about the negatives of ADHD, it has its major benefits too. Believe me - with self-awareness, controls and the right support - ADHDers can leverage their traits to create a unique advantage. Sometimes known as the ‘explorer gene’, ADHDers can seriously thrive when they learn how to use and control their high energy, hyper focus, creativity, imagination, compassion, memory and instinctive intuition. When we love something, these qualities help us find solutions to problems which makes us great at working under pressure and staying ahead of the game. We tend to shut off from the noise that can distract people from focusing on the bigger picture and answering the only question that really matters. How can we do better?

Just before Christmas last year, my mum ended up in the magnificent care of Salford Royal’s ANU team. After weeks in hospital, the incredible team of experts diagnosed her with a rare disease called encephalitis, a condition you would not wish on your own worst enemy. Most people don’t know much about encephalitis, but in basic terms it is an inflammation of the brain that can mimic different forms of degenerative dementia.

Encephalitis is a truly horrendous disease but thankfully, her condition is treatable. We had hope!

I remember my mum’s first words to me and my dad when she woke up from a post seizure state, “Do NOT feel sorry for me and do NOT pity me. All I need is strength and positivity.” At a time of absolute chaos, she was able to find a moment of profound clarity. It was the slap in the face we needed, and those words got my family through the last few months of hell.

On Wednesday last week my mum was discharged from hospital, after seeing remarkable improvements over the last few weeks. It is a miracle and a real blessing.

When I look back, the magnificent doctors and nurses at Salford Royal never doubted my mum’s mental strength or their ability to treat her. Their unwavering confidence was contagious and that has rubbed off on me.

My mum is now in rehab. And I have no doubt she is on the mend, thanks to the unbelievable strength and determination of my mum, her medical team, and her amazing support system. We know that it is going to be a long bumpy journey, but the retail sector will be delighted to hear that Simone Backner is doing incredibly well and Rishi can share some good news with the Treasury!

From this horrendous ordeal, I now understand the term ‘loss’ and appreciate everything that truly matters. I am now better equipped, and I am raring to go in all aspects of my life. I will cherish my mum’s words throughout the rest of my life. You see, we will all have real struggles sometime in our lives, but it is important to try and not feel sorry for yourself. Make sure you don’t let circumstances take you down and surround yourself with great people with ‘can-do attitudes’ that can help you turn negative situations into positive outcomes.

Nicky tells me to “stay in the present and only focus on things that are within your control” and that the greatest leaders are “humble visionaries who always keep a firm grasp of true value with a ruthless desire to succeed by growing oneself and others.” True that.

The last few months have certainly humbled me. And now I have a relentless desire to succeed on a new mission. To become the biggest donor to the encephalitis cause in the UK within the next 10 years.

In total, encephalitis affects about 6,000 people each year in Britain and causes up to 2,400 deaths. But specialists have warned that many people with the condition may be ending up in care homes diagnosed with a degenerative dementia ( research suggests up to 1 in 5 people are misdiagnosed with Dementia) , or even placed on psychiatric wards, even though there are treatments available for the condition. Sometimes it is also mistaken for drug abuse. So it’s vital that more research is needed into this condition and that all doctors and nurses are able to recognise encephalitis symptoms.

I am at peace that I may not fully achieve my dream, but trust me, I will keep on chasing and let nothing get in my way. To that I say… “If you can dream it, you can do it.”

My family are indebted to the NHS and Salford Royal ANU team. You are all incredible. The appreciation and admiration we have for all is enormous. Thank you and I send so much love.

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