Morning Wins, Honest Conversations, and Listening Well

Hello! I hope you're well?

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I know not everyone is in a romantic relationship, but I hope you were able to use the valentines weekend to reflect on all the love you are lucky enough to have around you, and I hope you can step into this week sending out your love to all the right people and the right places.

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Anyway, on with this weeks newsletter!

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Here's 3 things that have been on my mind this week…

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Win the morning, win the day!

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My morning routine is such a huge and essential part of my day, and for anyone who's followed me for a while will know how consistent I've been with it over the last few years.

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But here's the reality so far this year…

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I've gone from journalling every day to just a handful of times this year.

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I've gone from swimming most mornings to struggling to get it done twice a week.

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I've gone from slow coffee mornings getting my head in the game to sitting at the desk at 7:30 with my laptop open.

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It pains me to say this as I pride myself on my discipline, commitment, and consistency, and it seems as if it's all disappeared overnight!

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I'm aware that moving house had a big impact on this, being in a different space and needing to form new routines, however I've been lazy in not proactively making a new routine that works for me.

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But here's what I've learnt from this experience:

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1) The self care rituals are so important, and I've definitely noticed a shift in how I've been feeling by not creating space for me to check in with myself. It literally feels like one day rolls into the next with no pauses, which leads me to feeling ruined by the end of the week.

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2) It's okay to pull back on things like my sea dips and I don't need to beat myself up for not going almost every day of the week. I do however need to be intentional with this, as it's the times I'm reactive about not going that make me feel lazy, as opposed to me setting the bar lower and achieving what I intended, which feels like a win.

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3) Remembering why you do the things you do is so important. Part of the reason I've taken my foot off the gas is because everything has felt like a massive checklist. I had forgotten that I use my swims as something to wake me up and find some peace ahead of the day, and journalling as a tool to offload what's on my mind. By remembering the why I remember the value of doing these things.

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This week will see these habits back in the fold, but in a more intentional and balanced way.

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Giving feedback

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Last week I passed on some feedback to someone, and I found it way harder than I expected, despite having a great relationship with them.

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Although it was constructive feedback which would result in positive results for more than just the person getting the feedback, I couldn't help but feel like I was berating them and that they needed to do better.

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However, it would have been incredibly unfair of me to not pass on this feedback, as it doesn't provide the individual with the opportunity to grow and develop, and they may have no idea that something is potentially causing an issue,

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And the best thing is that through giving this feedback, despite the initial worry about destroying the relationship, it has actually made it even stronger and has given me the confidence to be more vocal with feedback going forward.

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The only thing to note here is that it is particularly important to consider how and when you give the feedback.

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Find the right time, the right space, frame it properly, and deliver it with love.

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Talk less, listen more

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I feel like I'm falling back into bad habits around how much I talk about myself. (He says as he writes a newsletter all about himself…)

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I'm in that place where I walk away from conversations and face palm over the fact that I jumped in to conversations to talk about how their story was relevant to me, or how I have done something better, or even to share something completely off topic just because I wanted to talk about it.

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I honestly hate it, and as a trained coach, this is terrain I should steer clear of as it isn't supportive of how I work with clients.

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The task ahead of me is to set a challenge to talk as little as possible.

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What I don't mean by this is to not contribute to conversations or to close them off quickly by not responding, what I actually mean is I will use my talking time to create more space and opportunity for the other person to tell me more, and I will listen.

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This is exactly what coaching is about, and as much as I nail this with my clients, it feels very different day to day in normal personal conversations.

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And just to touch back on the piece about me sharing newsletters that are all about me, my hope is that my reflections resonate for you and you can take your own learnings.

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This has never been a biographical exercise where people get to learn about me, it's all about creating the opportunity to reflect and having a chance to learn from my own shared reflections.

Quote for the week

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'When it comes to talking, it's always more blessed to receive than to give.'

- John Mason

Recommendation

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September 5

Cinema

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‘September 5 is a historical drama film that focuses on the 1972 Munich Olympic hostage crisis from the perspective of the ABC Sports crew. The film highlights their transition from covering the Olympics to reporting on the hostage situation involving Israeli athletes, and showcases the intense and emotional experience of live broadcasting during a global tragedy.’

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Shock, I've brought you another true movie recommendation!

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What I found most interesting about this movie is that I didn't know this event actually happened, which is wild!

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This is a really gripping story that reminds you of some of the very real horrors our world has faced, and upon researching the story after, I was blown away by how much more there was to this.

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Like with many of my film recommendations, this one certainly gives you huge perspective and really gets you thinking about how lucky we are for the safety we have.

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England may not be the best place at times, but we are certainly lucky to live where we do as we could have it way worse.

Life Hack

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Fiction books

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I am someone who is always reading personal development and business books, which I love and they do add tremendous value.

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The problem is it keeps me switched on in my business all the time, so when I read before I go to bed, it typically gets me thinking about work which isn't great.

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I have recently tried to dive back into fiction reading to provide a bit more of an escape and an opportunity to switch off, which so far is working.

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There's plenty of great books out there, and it may be as easy as diving back into the Harry Potter books!

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If you've got any fiction recommendations I'd love to hear them.

How can I help you?

If you want to hear more about what I do and how you can work with me, send me a DM or email me at?[email protected]

I hope you have a fantastic week, and I'll be back in your inbox next week!

Haydan