NO MORE WHY
Troy Hall, Ph.D. I-CUDE
Bestselling author on Talent Retention, international speaker, and founder of Cohesion Culture??
Ever wondered what goes on in the brain when you ask a question with “why” in the beginning?
For most of us, we know immediately.?
Our brain senses conflict and engages our natural defense system.?
These defense mechanisms vary in terms of how they are activated. Their primary purpose is to help the mind cope with situations that may cause stress or strong emotional feelings.?
Ask, “Why did you do that?”
Even said in the softest way possible, this question still engages a feeling that conflict is present and enacts the brain to defend its actions often leading to “deflection.”
Asking WHY causes the brain to associate the intent of the question to focus blame. But, what we wanted was to get a resolve, to find an answer, even pave the way to building cohesion. We simply wanted to understand.?
'WHY' QUESTIONS INCITE DEFLECTION.?
Defense mechanisms like “deflection” are unconscious ways the brain engages without the person being fully aware it is happening.?
When we deflect, our brain redirects the focused blame or criticism to something or someone else. It is a very natural reaction and most if not all have experienced it at one time or another.
Deflection is the brain’s way of preserving our self image.?
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Avoid or reduce conflict through cohesion and self-discovery. No more why questions.?
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After years of working with individuals through personal development, training research, communication courses, and personal experience, I’ve developed a proven method to reduce the potential for conflict.?
Introducing the S.E.E.D. Methodology, a Cohesive Communication Solution
This four step process is fully explained in my Cohesive Communication seminars and workshops and a valuable tool my coaching clients are taught to use for conflict resolution.
The?S.E.E.D. formula involves the art of engaging self-discovery with others as a principle component. S.E.E.D. is?based upon the premise of asking open-ended, non-leading questions in place of asking why.
Using this approach still gets to the WHY without asking WHY. It’s a clever way to trick the brain from ignoring its primary defense mechanism and engaging in a conversation without the association of blame or fear one has done something wrong.?
Once you learn the?S.E.E.D. formula, it is easy to replicate over and over again. It’s application is great for coaching, mentoring, and offering criticism without inducing or creating conflict. The?S.E.E.D. formula applies to any conversation regardless of topic when the intent is to seek information.
领英推荐
For my local Charleston folks, you can join me on October 5, 2023 from 9:30 to11:30 am at the new Cohesion Culture?? headquarters at 11 eWall Street, Mt. Pleasant, SC for the in-person, instructor led Cohesive Leadership Workshop Series: Conflict Resolution.
DM me for details. I’d love to see you in the workshop.?
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For more insight on this topic, please refer to these previous newsletters:
Ready to dive deeper into the topic of Conflict Resolution? Register for the first session in our Cohesive Leadership Workshop series.
Engage in a proven method that promotes communication through self-discovery by learning the power of asking open-ended, non-leading questions. Participants will learn the Cohesion Culture? S.E.E.D. formula and have an opportunity to discuss and role play.
In this week's Leading On Purpose newsletter, the #YellowCamoCrew series continues with an introduction of Karmen Zabron . Karmen shares how she gamified her travel, the people who give her purpose, and why Mindreader is her favorite team building activity to facilitate (spoiler alert!).
Peace now and always,
Dr.?Troy
Recognized as a?Top Business Leader by Valiant CEO Magazine, featured on The Today Show, ABC, the Global BV-TV Network, Beyond the Business Radio Show, and CEO World,?Dr. Troy Hall?is an award-winning talent retention consultant, international?speaker, and author of the bestselling titles;?Cohesion Culture: Proven Principles to Retain Your Top Talent, ?Fanny Rules: A Mother’s Leadership Lessons That Never Grow Old and Back After Burnout. As the founder of?Cohesion Culture?, Dr. Troy has dedicated his career to establishing a cycle of culture wellness in the corporate and professional sphere.?His consulting and executive coaching engagements are built on the strategic framework of Cohesion Culture?, making the concepts of belonging, value, and shared commitment easy for organizations to adopt and implement.
Experiential Team Building: Keeping your remote, in-person, and hybrid workforces productive & engaged.
1 年We can all consistently learn and grow our communication skills. Most of us probably don't even realize how often we begin questions with WHY setting our peers immediately on the defensive. I am looking forward to our Cohesive Leadership Workshop Series beginning in two weeks! I can't wait to hear all the key takeaways attendees have regarding conflict resolution.
Discovering Courageous Leadership | CEO & Executive Coaching | Staff Retreat Keynote & Training | Personal Branding | Board Effectiveness | Crucial Conversations | Credit Union Management | Culture |Team Accountability
1 年So true. A simple shift to “What” can be impactful.
Helping brands communicate their message COMPELLINGLY | Christian | Co-Founder at I5ers | Brand Strategist
1 年I found this remarkably insightful. I believe the said S.E.E.D approach would be a game-changing discovery for people managers who understand and thoughtfully apply it in receiving feedback. I'd like to learn more about it Troy Hall, Ph.D.
Helping You Achieve What's Most Important | Charleston Sports Supporter | Retirement Strategies | Retail Alumni | Dad Joke Collector | Financial Advisor
1 年A very valuable topic, Dr.Troy. In my previous retail leadership life this was a common conversation and always a challenging one. It’s a longer road to discover the why indirectly, but a much safer route for a two way dialogue.