More Ways To Build Rapport During Interviews

This is Part 2 of our last post, where we introduced the Princeton study that found the most charismatic people were high in both warmth and competence. In case you missed that, it’s a quick read and can be found here. The main headline is that you can learn to be more charismatic by manipulating your warmth and competence signals.??

We also talked about the cost of missing these cues when you’re talking to others, e.g. Your need to be liked gets in the way of being respected (warmth). Or your need to be right gets in the way of being liked (competence). This is especially disastrous in interviews, where a qualified candidate can be passed over because they failed to connect with the interviewer.?

Today we’re going to:?

1. Help you recognize your interviewer’s style, and

2. Calibrate your own warm/competent tendencies to connect with them

Are You More Warm or Competent?

First let’s review the charisma quadrant to identify the four styles.

Warm people focus on building rapport. They use stories and anecdotes to find common ground. They want to be perceived as friendly, relatable and collaborative. Famously warm people are Ellen DeGeneres or Drew Barrymore.

Competent people focus on data and examples to demonstrate their expertise. They want to be perceived as knowledgeable, well-informed and evidence-based. Their drive to be right exceeds their need to be accepted. Think of Steve Jobs or Elon Musk.

Charismatic people, like Oprah or Brene Brown, have a combination of both these skills.

Do we need to cover the danger zone, devoid of both warmth and competence???

You probably have a hypothesis about what type you are, and you can validate it by taking the quiz here. It’s about 10 questions and takes a minute.?

Interview Tips for Warm-Leaning

?Alright, so if you run warm, how can you signal more competence?

1. Practice your story

?Your superpower is relatability. It will happen naturally. You need to train your competence muscles. Spend interview prep time getting to know the company and interview team, but don’t neglect practicing the stories you tell, including proof points, insights, case studies, why you made the decisions you did, and results. Make this super fluid.

2. Add some rigor

?I’m warm-leaning and my personal strategy for this is to have a Number for Everything. I made it my mission to quantify all activities. I worked out 8.5 hours last week. Our Time To Fill is 52 days. We closed 75% of our offers last year. And a cool thing happened. People sit up and pay attention when you quote numbers, studies or other recognized sources. They have become a barometer of how credible you are.

3. Dial up confidence

?In an effort to win over others, I’ve seen warm people downplay their abilities. This can manifest in ways like uptalk (ending sentences like they’re questions), speaking softly or trailing off. Make your voice louder and firmer. This is the verbal equivalent of tucking in your shirt. You instantly appear more professional. Even something as simple as showing up early will convey preparedness and self-assurance.

?If you have a tendency to be long-winded or find it hard to resist following tangents (guilty!) be mindful that your interviewer probably prefers a more concise style.

?Go here for how to signal competence with your body language.

Interview Tips for Competent-Leaning

?1. Ask more questions

?Competent people like to hear themselves talk. They have data and a point of view and they want to share their knowledge so that everyone can benefit. But to avoid alienating your interviewer, use questions to engage them. For example: What do you want to see happen in the next 6 months? What are the immediate things you want this role to focus on? Who are others on the team and what are their roles?

Aim for dialogue so you’re not talking at them. This can be accomplished with follow-up phrases such as: Is that what you’re looking for? Did I answer your question?

?If your interviewer is also a Competent, you may need to draw them out. I once asked a hiring manager what his top priorities were for an analyst role and he said curtly, “Well, it’s all in the job description.” So I had to ask again in a different way: What does this person need to accomplish in the first few months to be deemed successful??

The person asking the questions controls the conversation.

2. Paint a picture

One of the top things we look for in deeply analytical types is the ability to draw insights and tell a story from the data. It’s one thing to recite facts, findings or what tools and processes they used. We’re looking for real life applications of their work described in a way that any lay person can understand.???

?3. Build relatability with humor and humility

Deeply competent people can be intimidating. Letting go of ego and the ability to laugh at yourself helps put others at ease. Monitor whether you frequently interrupt or correct people. It can be mindless when you’re excited about a topic.?

If this doesn’t feel natural to you, think about the most charismatic or warm people you know. Are there aspects of their tone, energy or body language that you can steal? People hear what they see. Smiling, laughing, leaning forward are warmth cues. You want to impress AND engage.

For Recruiters & Talent Acquisition

If you have a “prickly pear” in your interview line-up, could they be a High Competent? Since their love language is evidence and examples, it’s possible they’ll perceive Warm candidates as superficial or pandering. Consider teaming them up with a Warm interviewer or adding one to the sequence to sell the role and prep candidates for the prickly pear’s style.?

Conversely, Warm interviewers are at risk of making assumptions about candidates they like rather than asking qualifying questions. They’re more vulnerable to bias. Working together on a set of questions and scoring rubric ensures that candidates are evaluated consistently.

Conclusion

As recruiters, we're relied on to evaluate competence and fit. What I like about the Princeton study and Van Edwards’ work is that it distills vague concepts like charisma and likability into warmth and competence cues that we can act on.

Heard your interviewer is a stickler for data? Now you know how to dial up your competence.

If you’ve been told that you’re intimidating, lean into warmth and ask more questions. I recently won over a prickly pear by first passing her competence questions then building rapport with lots of hand gestures. Wouldn’t have worked if I led with warmth.

There are a ton of great resources on the Science of People site if you want to go deeper.?

Comment below and let us know what’s working for you!