No more superchickens: How will empathy education for children change the leaders of the future?

There are moments in your life when ideas, work (both past and current), history and mental needs all converge to spark an exciting idea or question that you realize you couldn't have had at any other time in your life. That recently happened for me when friend and colleague Val Swan shared a compelling TED talk by Margaret Heffernan. The premise: empathy, social capital, and connection -- NOT competition -- are the strongest driver of success and innovation. As a recovering academic, a perfectionist and over-achieving child of the self-esteem generation, a new parent wondering how to raise a kind child in a chaotic and often cruel world, and an INFJ (i.e. 'feeler') in a country torn apart by vile and inflammatory politics, I was intrigued. Thirsty, actually, for some insight.

Heffernan's take-home point: social capital -- the connections we build with one another -- is the 'mortar' that drives the bricks of success for companies. Those who engage in practices to foster social capital are ultimately more successful than those founded on competitive practices that encourage rivalry among employees. In short "companies don't have great ideas; only people do." Companies that support people reap the rewards of social capital exponentially.

As I read a summary of the video I quickly thought to myself that it was the perfect summation of my experiences thus far outside of academia. Though my immediate circle of colleagues within academia were tremendously supportive and collaborative, academia as a whole is not. It is based on the superchicken hypothesis (watch the TED video and it is explained in the first minute), which always struck me as ludicrous and inefficient for a setting premised on the generation of ideas. By contrast, in my new setting at the Center for Creative Leadership, the opposite has been true. I've seen social capital building practices foregrounded in the interest of innovation, constant reminders of interdependence, the value of constructive feedback, and a sense of shared ownership that increases accountability. It has at once been tremendously refreshing in its transparency and supremely intimidating in its demands. As Heffernan continues, "Now, this isn't about chumminess, and it's no charter for slackers, because people who work this way tend to be kind of scratchy, impatient, absolutely determined to think for themselves because that's what their contribution is. Conflict is frequent because candor is safe. And that's how good ideas turn into great ideas, because no idea is born fully formed. It emerges a little bit as a child is born, kind of messy and confused, but full of possibilities. And it's only through the generous contribution, faith and challenge that they achieve their potential. And that's what social capital supports.'' I see the determination, messiness, and endless possibility daily. And I see how a completely revised work ethic, one that focuses on interdependence, fosters these ideas, and those who generate them, through the developmental process.

So what does this have to do with kids and school? That's where the new parent in me comes in. Oh, and Elmo. Just the day before Val shared this video, I saw an NPR article about Elmo and how Sesame Street was attempting to tackle the empathy issue. As I was shopping around for daycare for my child, I was most moved to enroll her in those that had a firm grounding in empathy for their curriculum. Those who fostered artistic development and conscious discipline resonated with me. Similarly to the parents cited in the NPR article, I believe that empathy and kindness are ultimately the most important for my child and, lest you fear I've fully let go of my over-achieving roots, that her success, achievement, and happiness in life will flow from the social connections and community she forms. But as I hear the rhetoric of an unusually derogatory election and see divisiveness and intolerance cutting along the lines of privilege, I start to get worried I'm facing an impossible task.

Which brings me to the role of schools. Schools have long since recognized the importance of social emotional skills and learning (SEL). We have entire research centers, years of empirical studies, and more powerful stories than anyone could ever catalog that speak to the character education that happens when our children are in school settings. But the work of actively embracing empathy to develop the next generation of leaders is less often a focus. And, in part, you may say that this runs counter-intuitive to everything I've just said. Aren't leaders hierarchical? Isn't leadership positional? Well, just a few years ago I would have had the same questions. But I have since learned, in my work at CCL and with schools like Ravenscroft, that leadership is not positional, it is democratic. Leadership is about being connected, fostering connection, and harnessing connection in service of ideas and goals bigger than any one organization or any one person's legacy. Leadership in a growing global economy that moves at light-speed pace is interdependent, not individual.

As we expand our work at CCL to engage more with schools, we are beginning to learn more and more about why this is important. We are exploring more closely how leadership development, of the sort premised on empathy and connection, can transform schools and create a culture of interdependence that develops every student, faculty, and staff member as a leader. For me, these handful of articles, my personal experience, and my current dismay at the social milleu set off this (somewhat rambling) flurry of ideas. While I spent years chasing an academic research agenda that focused on the importance of connection for mentoring youth, I hadn't thought nearly as much about how the idea of connection -- and ultimately empathy -- translates into our classrooms. Nor had I really fully considered how the connections that youth form with important adults may be shaping their understanding of leadership and helping them grow their own identity as a leader.

So, if you're a parent, the next time your school sends home some information about social emotional learning, encourages your child to adopt a growth mindset, asks you to attend a workshop on giving feedback, or starts an initiative to reduce bullying, pay attention. This is what the future of leadership looks like. They are doing the work that will shape all of our children to become interdependent leaders, regardless of where they are and where their life paths will take them.