No More Regrets

No More Regrets

We all make mistakes. It’s part of the human condition to err, usually on a daily basis! But today I’d like you to take a moment to accept that making mistakes is completely normal, especially when you’re pursuing your goals and following your dreams.

We all make mistakes but, in the quest to appear to be perfect, we often lose sight of the fact that we punish ourselves with guilt and regret rather than learning from our errors. In the human minefield of more personal mistakes, this is particularly relevant when we consider the sensitive subject of relationships.

If you’ve ever experienced the trauma of breaking up or being dumped, you’ll know how deeply wounding these events can be. Rejection is always difficult to handle. Some people carry the emotional scars for the rest of their lives. Yet we are also prone to investing vast amounts of energy in blaming ourselves and replaying the rollercoaster ride of a failed relationship for years and years afterwards rather than using our energy to understand what really happened. My suggestion for today is that you consider having your regret chip removed.?

When you release yourself from the tiresome habit of regret, you begin to understand your life in ways that are beyond the familiar boundaries of good and bad, right and wrong. You appreciate that things certainly happened. You also know that you reacted to the events. And now you know that your connection to whatever occurred only exists for you as a series of electrical impulses in your brain that you interpret as memory.?

?

When a client was describing the pain of a difficult relationship, I asked her to show me. Of course, she couldn’t because what she was sharing was her personal interpretation of her highly-filtered recollections. It was a breakthrough moment because she realised that she was generating memories with painful consequences and feeling down – because of the pictures and feelings in her head. Let's be clear. Memories are not real. Memories are a story we play in our heads. Therefore, regret is meaningless.

As you become more mindful and aware of how you make choices, there’s a very high probability that you will chart a different pathway in the future. Regret weighs you down in the murky world of the past. Mindfulness allows you to discover the power of fresh, new choices in the present. Make a conscious decision right now to be free from regret and see how much better you feel when you use your energy to make better choices in every part of your life.

As Dr Jung reminded us, integrate the Shadow or you'll always end up dating it!

gregory.s.parry@gmail.com

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