More Realness in Business, please: Vulnerability instead of perfection.

I have recently taken part in a big virtual conference. In the meeting invite, there was a handout included on how to join this event. The author’s first tip was something like ‘Appearance matters - so make sure to present your best virtual self in front of the camera’. The handout continued with tips on how to dress - of course NOT the pyjama pants because this would be really unprofessional and embarrassing, how to position the camera to look like your best self and finally included the recommendation for the zoom-feature to ‘tone up’ your appearance when you don’t have time for make-up. 

Seriously? These kinds of tips raise my ‘PERFECTIONISM-RED-FLAG’  immediately. I was shocked. I didn’t think that recommendations like these are still a thing. I must be part of an anti-perfectionism bubble! Which is why I decided that it’s time to share my own tips on how to join virtual events and networkings. Especially for the WoMentor networking events - this is how we expect you to show up:

1. Self-care matters. Do make sure to schedule some time for yourself before joining especially evening events. If this is not possible, check tip #2. Do make sure to have a drink around to stay hydrated. Schedule your meal before the event, if it’s going to be a long event.
2. Mental health matters. Please join our meetings only when you have time, when you feel like networking and when it does not put (extra) pressure on you to have another event in your schedule (if you decide not to join: cancelling and saying why you don’t join is always appreciated for better planning).

1. Good is good enough. Didn’t have time for make-up? Not managed to clean the room? Outfit not as nice as you wanted it to be? Why don’t you use this as an opener for a 1:1 conversation - I am sure sharing your realness will be a door-opener for a deep conversation and people will relate with you more easily.

Aren’t these times demanding and challenging enough? I think when everything feels tight, we should not try to squeeze in uncomfortable pants or feel bad because we did not want to put on make-up today. Because what really matters in the end is to expand our network and to establish and feel meaningful connections between each other. To me, honestly, I find it much easier to connect to someone when I see their real face, their real struggles, their real lives or business challenges. Not the zoom-Instagram-filtered reality. Let us be real with each other, let us talk about our struggles and problems, because together, we can support each other. Let us not feel divided and inaccessible because of our perfectionism, because the expectations of others are so high that we think we will never reach them anyways. You.are.good.enough.

Tonight, WoMentor is hosting a general assembly with our community members. You know how I’ll show up? I blocked one hour in my calendar to go for a run before the meeting because I love to go running to get a free mind and of course physical activity. I am hoping to manage to shower before the meeting - but be prepared for my red head and my sweatpants, which you may see, or not. In the end, does it matter? 

This blog article is inspired by Brené Brown’s ‘The power of vulnerability’.