The more power you have the better you need to listen

“Why wasn’t I told about this earlier?”

Senior executives often ask this question when something goes wrong in an organisation. Out of frustration, they may demand an investigation into who knew what, when, and why people did not speak up, and they tend to direct blame in that direction. In response, some organisations start work on programs to build a “speak-up culture”.

But this question is misdirected. It places responsibility firmly on those who allegedly didn’t “speak up” and conveniently bypasses those who could have “listened up”.

When people speak up, they often experience that they are not listened to or, worse still, criticised, humiliated or dismissed. Repeated unsuccessful attempts lead them to give up altogether. Others may not even try to speak up, having witnessed their colleagues trying in vain to be heard. This article contends that the listener has a greater role to play in creating open communication or lack thereof, particularly when there is a power difference involved.

While it’s important for us all to listen, it’s even more critical for those in positions of power to hone listening skills that go well beyond just active listening. It is about creating safety and space for others to speak up. There are five reasons why the power differential makes a big difference.

1. Most people find it more difficult to speak to people in positions of power

A senior executive once told me, “I went to say Hi to my broader team and a few of them seemed really nervous and didn’t say anything. I don’t get it, I’m not that scary, am I?”

Irrespective of how pleasant, warm, and respectful a senior leader may be, simply being in a position of power can cause other people to second guess or censor what they say. Many people find it difficult to speak up when senior people are present, even when it appears safe, let alone disagree with them. This is why Harvard Business Review publishes articles such as How to disagree with someone more powerful than you.

Consider for a moment – how much personal risk is involved in offering a contrasting point of view, to someone in a position of power compared with someone who has equivalent or less power to you? Safety is more often than not shaped by those with power.

2. Power causes us to become blind to our impact

I remember presenting ideas to a senior executive and feeling rushed and not listened to, simply because the executive was flipping through the document without looking at me.

It seems like a small thing, but these tacit behaviours have an amplified impact when coming from those in positions of power. The more power people have, the more they can be blind to this. What’s worse, others are unlikely to tell us about these behaviours and their impact, and thus they miss the chance to factor this into future interactions.

People are constantly watching and interpreting their leaders’ behaviours. To create safety and space for others to contribute, those in positions of power must seek regular feedback and cultivate trust as well as a high level of self-awareness, including seemingly insignificant behaviours. If not, they may never be the wiser to how much people self-censor.?

3. People in power have a large impact on the communication culture

Leaders cast a long shadow. The quality of listening by leaders sets the expected norm around listening (see the Listening set point article by Anna Reeve). Have you been in meetings where people are looking at their phones or emails, or multi-tasking in virtual meetings, when someone is speaking? It is highly likely that the most senior person has set the tone that that is an acceptable behaviour.

In addition, when people in positions of power do not listen, people feel the impact more intensely and broadly. They make up stories about that senior leader e.g. that they are too busy, not interested, don’t think much of us or our work, or that our work doesn’t matter.

Over time, symptoms emerge in organisations such as a growing list of undiscussables (elephant in the room), silo mentality, lack of creative ideas, issues not raised early enough to address and much more (see Surprising symptoms that suggest leaders may not be listening).

4. Higher quality listening by people in power has an enormous impact

When people feel truly listened to by those in power, the benefits are far-reaching.

People feel greater safety and space to speak and listen, the overall quality of communication in the organisation improves, there is greater acceptance and prevalence of productive intellectual friction, difficult conversations do not get avoided, and the quality of problem solving and innovation increases. This results in better decision making and early detection of risks. When people feel heard they feel more trusted and gain a greater sense of ownership and intrinsic motivation which also lifts employee engagement and wellbeing.

5. Leaders who listen hold the potential to address unresolved and intractable issues

Whether it is bullying and harassment, gender or racial inequality, inclusion of minority groups, reconciliation with Indigenous peoples, or other long-standing societal issues, the underlying pattern is that there is a group of people who enjoy greater privilege, power and rank. This pattern may be driven by societal, systemic and/or relational factors.

According to Julie Diamond’s research into power, many studies show that “the psychology of a high ranking role diminishes empathy, impeding a leader’s ability to consider the impact of their actions on another or take on another’s perspective”. Poor listening by those in power to those impacted by them diminishes the possibility for genuine empathy. When those in power can listen in a way that they hear and understand the tension, pain and hurt experienced by others, the possibility for empathy and the will to address the issue/s emerges. Helping people with power to listen is an important early step towards solving unresolved and seemingly intractable issues.

When leaders stop blaming people for not speaking up, and start taking responsibility for listening up, they begin to ask themselves “Can I really afford not to listen?”.

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We’d love to listen to you and your experience of being listened to (or not) in your workplace. Please visit our survey via this link https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/exampleOWLeader. Most people find it takes approx. 10 minutes.

Written by Megumi Miki, with Anna Reeve and Leigh Gassner on the Leaders who Listen project. The project aims to develop leaders who create safety and space within their organisations and truly listen to enable better decision making, drive growth and innovation, enhance collaboration and inclusion, and manage risk. If you’d like to understand how well you and/or your leaders listen and create an environment of authentic communication, contact us about our Leaders who Listen assessment tools and development options.