To be more mentally strong avoid these 12 things.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -- Eleanor Roosevelt

We all get tested. Challenging friendships. Terrible jobs. Failing health and crumbling relationships. Mentally strong people finesse through these obstacles with poise and determination.

Mentally tough people don’t see barriers, they see possibilities!

Ironically, mental toughness is something you can cultivate.

Despite the common misconception that being mentally strong is innate, it’s something you can develop.

I’ve been advocating the benefits of emotional intelligence for almost 20 years. 25 years of research confirms 90% of top performers have exceptionally high emotional intelligence.

Since defining emotional intelligence is a bit arbitrary, and difficult to quantify, it’s better to focus on “emulating” people that exhibit high emotional intelligence. When it comes to emotional intelligence, what you don’t do is equally as important as what you do.

"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." -- Oscar Wilde

To improve your emotional intelligence, avoid these 12 things:

Being comfortable. Cultivating Self-awareness is imperative for enhancing your emotional intelligence. That requires being honest with yourself and concentrating on areas of self-improvement, which can be highly uncomfortable.

Being afraid. Fear can be debilitating, and it’s the reason most people stay secure in miserable situations. Once you “lean on fear” as your excuse for not implementing change, you’ve already lost the battle. People with high emotional intelligence overcome their fear and press forward.

Being pessimistic. Emotionally intelligent people never give up!  Just because they failed, got disappointed or suffer from fatigue. They focus on results and don’t get seduced by the material diversions most people can’t resist. When someone says they can’t, people with high emotional intelligence hear I can.

Being arrogant. People that act arrogant are miserable and insecure. They act like jerks because they lack the emotional intelligence to be nice, even when they don’t feel like it. People with high emotional intelligence value relationships and treat everyone with respect, despite their mood.

Being animus. The ramifications of holding onto bitterness triggers our stress response. Harboring animosity and stress have devastating consequences. Emotionally intelligent people realize the importance of letting go of negative emotions.

Being around negative people. Negative people can drain your enthusiasm and rupture optimism. They lack the ability to concentrate on solving problems. Instead, they ruminate in self-pity. The worst part, they pull you into their self-induced negativity. Emotionally intelligent people avoid negative people. 

Being a victim. When you focus on your problems and maintain the belief they result from “outside circumstances”, you surrender all control. Emotionally intelligent people don’t forfeit their ability to improve their situation by allowing somebody or something else to control their options.

Being entitled. Emotionally deficient people meander through life believing the world owes them a favor. They prefer somebody hand deliver success. Emotionally intelligent people accept full responsibility for success, and their failures.

Being close minded. Successful people maintain an open mind. Emotionally deficient people don’t. For emotionally deficient people, admitting another idea is "better" is synonymous with failure. Admitting their wrong is the equivalent of self-condemnation.

Being affected by caustic people. Emotionally intelligent people don’t make social comparisons. Their pleasure isn’t the product of someone else’s failure. Emotionally intelligent people don’t let other people impact their positive disposition. Their self-worth originates within.

Being consumed with jealousy and envy. Emotionally intelligent people aren’t preoccupied with other people’s success or failure. They don’t waste time entertaining jealous emotions that nullify their ability to be successful. They stay focused on self-improvement and extricate negative emotions inconsistent with personal improvement.

Being immersed in the past. Failure typically results from making bold decisions but falling short of your expectations. Emotionally intelligent people recognize the need to persevere and overcome challenges. They don’t ruminate in the past and let “past failure” dictate “future success”.

"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence." -- Helen Keller

Sum it up

Concentrating on emotional intelligence is the single most important tool in your arsenal for success. College degrees. LinkedIn connections and networking can’t substitute for high emotional intelligence.

Anything you can add to this short list of things emotionally intelligent people don’t do? Please like and share this article and include your thoughts in the comments section below. I love learning from you as well.

About The Author:

Steve Wohlenhaus is CEO of Weatherology, the leading company in the world at disseminating audio weather information.  Steve began his career as a major market television weather anchor in Minneapolis, where he received several Emmy Awards for science programming. Steve is an author and host of the post program Anatomy of Success. Reach out and connect with Steve on LinkedIn!