Be More Like Yourself on a Good Day

A lesson I seem to continually remember is that life isn't about being perfect. It's about being present.

And that's why I love centring.

Centring is a term for a whole bunch of techniques to help you self-regulate and have more capacity to be with whatever is present.

It is possible to prevent or overcome the distress response by deliberately bringing the body into a state of freedom, balance, and expansiveness. Contrary to how most of us live most of the time, action is much more efficient and effective when the body is relaxed, free and expansive.

Centring is a way to come back into a place where you are ready to do well. It’s the space between stimulus and response, where you are aware of how you are and can make a choice about how you want to proceed. Think of it like mindfulness plus - sensitive to what’s going on for you and then choosing the most helpful response available to you in that moment.

Here are three techniques that I turn to time and again.

1. The 3-second version (from Mark Walsh)

Take a deep breath in. As you breathe out, relax your eyes, your jaw and your belly. Say “aaahhhhhhh”, like you’re getting into a lovely warm bath.

2. Up-and-down Breathing

Take a deep breath up the back of your body, noticing the length of your spine. As you breathe out, soften down the front of your body - relaxing your eyes, your jaw, your belly.

Breathe in again, feeling your strength, resilience and dignity in the back of your body. Breathe out, feeling kindness and compassion down the front of your body.

Breathe in one more time, breathing in anything that you need a bit more of. And as you breathe out, let go of anything that isn’t helping you right now.

3. Smiling Heart (from Paul Linden)

This can be used alone or in conjunction with either of the other techniques.

It’s a beautifully simple practice: think of someone who makes your heart smile. Allow the warmth of that care and love to spread throughout your body, softening your chest, belly and peripheral vision. You might also like to imagine the radiance of your heart expanding out in all directions like you’re a glowing lightbulb or star.

4. Centring Around Meaning (inspired by Richard Strozzi-Heckler)

In any situation, especially stressful ones, it’s useful to remind yourself why you're here.

Breathe deeply into your body, slowly breathe out and ask yourself, “What matters here?”, or, “What do I really care about now?”.

You can put one hand on your lower belly or heart area as you do this. Try this and note how it impacts your state.

Appreciate where you are in your journey, even if it's not where you want to be. Every season serves a purpose.

As a little gift, you can find a guided version here.

Having centred and got yourself to a place where you're ready to do well, you might like to read this blog post on 4 ways to do well in the right way for you and the situation you're in.

Photo by Jeppe Hove Jensen on Unsplash