No More Lies, lets get real.

I think we are all a little Callow, and I think this part of us scares a lot of people for some reason because Inside us all is the potential to achieve amazing things seriously. We are all unique, and I truly believe we were all born with one great skill that has the ability to change our lives.But how do we tap into it, well for me I had to go through many years of self destructive behaviour and lose everything to find myself, because inside you is the infinite goal, your purpose burning away. 

And because it is embroiled in all these unresolved emotions and unhelpful limiting beliefs that add no value to your life. I found myself chipping away at the issues, and learning from mistakes and then making the same mistake over again hoping for a different result.

And people where lining up to poke fun at me running me down, it was quite ghoulish as they done this to make themselves superior to myself, it was a way of justifying there own failures. " I thought I was bad until I met you."

I was living a fake life, instead of confronting my self destructive behaviour I found ways of surrounding myself with like minded people who celebrated my coping mechanisms and I felt part of a community. So much so i thought everyone else was abnormal.

Anyone who did not get hammered and take drugs and party hard with girls at a weekend was weird.and I was holding down a full time job at the same time. I would walk into a pub at 7pm and walk out at 7am on a regular basis girl in arm coming down from whatever drug I decided to take that weekend.

Now this is a funny thing, most of my one night stands were with married women I did not plan this it just happened and the next weekend I would see them with there husbands having a meal in a posh restaurant like the harvester...Stop it was posh to me at the time OK....

My hangovers and detoxing after a weekend of clubbing and going into work was the stuff of legends. Surviving on no sleep and still producing the goods at work it was tough and I learned this behaviour from the working in my dads night clubs and the armed forces. Most people in my regiment was on drugs it was the normal thing to do when not on operational tour or on exercise.

You have to understand the army is full of outcasts from society, misfits, all banded together looking for a different life as society has spat us out. For me it was army or prison, society does not like people who hang out with drug dealers especially in a small town where everyone knows everyone and what they do not know they make up.

Fart at oneside of the town the time you have got to the other side you have shit yourself a place of non stop rumours.

My life was a lie, a total fucking lie but I just did not see it, I lost my marriage my kids my home my self respect. And I hated myself more than any person could possibly imagine for years this went on during the week detoxing Friday-Sunday a mess.

I was living in my overdraft constantly, then i joined the prison service as my brother contacted me saying come and have a go at this. So i quit a fantastic job with final salary pension, great prospects, good money, loads of overtime and joined the prison service I know I know but this is my story and it is just getting started so keep tuned in.

So I took the entrance test by copying the guy next to me, It was a maths test and I am shit at maths, and he was a university guy who had a degree in maths so seemed a safe bet. Passed the fitness sweating like a pig, was on the razzle the night before.

And went through three months of training, And boy did my eyes get opened holy shit, real hard cases murderers, child killers, robbers, armed robbers, drug dealers, drug lords. If you ever find yourself losing gratitude for life please join the prison service it will sort your thinking out well it did me.

Something inside switched, and the immortal words WTF have I done to myself, now the reality of my actions has come home to roost. the only difference between me and them is a set of keys. I needed to change my ways however not easy I was surrounded by misfits.

On a grander scale the nights out was full of sex, drugs and seriously hard drinking, and I will give you some advice never ever turn up to work in the prison service with a hangover EVER.

Because the prisoners can have a six sense when one of the officers is not playing with a full set, and they will capitalise on it and run you stupid, I suffered like you would not believe. And from that day on my hard days was behind me I was on a wing full of people who could kill me at any moment \I was outnumbered 35 to 1, and I turned up with a hangover, death wish or what.

At this time I met a girl by accident and single bonus, and now my partner and wife of 15years she showed me a different way to live. She took me shopping no more wearing sleeve less T shirts. I worked out a lot weights etc thought it looked good.

And from there my life turned the last decade has been amazing I started my own sales company, and in 2011 started in the aviation industry, I have read countless books on human development, taken countless self development courses, attended seminars, went through many sessions of counselling, started a degree, bought a house, have a online company and a self development company and hold down a decent job with a important position which I enjoy.

You do not have to be a CEO to change peoples lives, you just have to have the passion and the life experience to understand the difference between a professional coach/mentor and a victim.I believe we all have bad experiences and that makes us a victim and these people do not make good coaches unless they stop lieing to themselves and seek help like I did.

I could not coach/mentor people unless i sorted me out first and today, I am more present that ever before in my life, I am grateful for the life I have. And my dream no my destiny is to help and train people to become the best version of themselves, to help them make better decisions.

And to stop them taking the long road home and instead invest in themselves, invest in me a person who cares passionately about people and customer service, I will extract the bullshit from you and flush it away with your help.

Because it all starts within my friend the rest is temporary,and full of half truths.