More Leadership Wisdom from My Old Notebook (Part 2)

A few days ago, I shared some leadership lessons from an old Moleskine notebook I found while searching for a book in my office. That notebook took me back to my Nordstrom Café Bistro days, where I loved to eat, reflect, and learn. (Honestly, their salmon was so good it might’ve been responsible for half the leadership breakthroughs I had over lunch!)

The response to that first article was overwhelming—thank you for your kind words and thoughtful feedback. So, as I flipped through more of those notes, I realized there was still so much to share. These aren’t just ideas; they’re lessons learned in the trenches—through frustration, growth, and those pivotal conversations that stick with you forever.

Here’s Part 2 of the leadership wisdom that’s shaped my journey:

1. “The more leadership ability someone has, the more quickly they recognize it—or the lack of it—in someone else.”

This one has stood the test of time. Great leaders seem to have a sixth sense. They can spot leadership potential in others long before those individuals see it themselves. But here’s the real key: it’s not enough to notice that potential—you have to act on it.

I’ve seen the best leaders call out strengths in others, give them opportunities to rise, and help them build confidence. It’s a reminder that leadership is about creating more leaders—not just followers.

2. “Successful leaders ask what needs to be done, not what do I want to do.”

Leadership isn’t about doing what’s comfortable or convenient. It’s about asking the right question: What does the team, situation, or moment require of me?

I’ve seen the most impactful leaders put aside personal preferences to focus on necessity. The work isn’t always glamorous, but when you align your efforts with what truly matters, you create a culture of purpose.

3. “If I can make things happen for myself, I can make things happen for others.”

Leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about being resourceful—knowing how to navigate challenges—and then helping others do the same.

Some of the most rewarding moments in my career haven’t been about my own successes; they’ve been about watching someone I’ve mentored achieve what they once thought was impossible. Seeing others grow and thrive is the real joy of leadership.

4. “Be a leader, not a follower—help someone today.”

Leadership isn’t a someday thing. It’s not a future goal or something you save for when you’re “ready.” Leadership happens in the here and now, in small but meaningful ways.

I learned this lesson the hard way as a new store manager at Nordstrom Circle Centre in Indianapolis. I was frustrated—my management team didn’t seem to share my drive or passion. They left early and didn’t work at the same intensity I did. I vented my frustrations to my boss, Bob Middlemas, at the top of the escalator.

Bob stopped me mid-rant and said, “McCoy, don’t expect them to act like you do. If they did, they’d be you—and they’re not you. So stop stressing yourself out and help them.”

That moment hit me like a lightning bolt. Leadership isn’t about wishing others would work like you—it’s about helping them become the best version of themselves. Helping someone today doesn’t mean molding them into your image. It means meeting them where they are and giving them the support they need to succeed.

5. “Love people as they need it, not as they deserve it.”

This one is tough, but it’s transformative. It’s easy to lead people who meet your expectations, but the real test of leadership is showing grace and patience with those who don’t.

True leadership is about seeing beyond behavior and focusing on potential. It’s about meeting people where they are, not where you think they should be. Loving people as they need it requires empathy, humility, and a willingness to see their value even when it’s not immediately obvious.

What It All Means

As I re-read these notes, one theme kept standing out: Leadership isn’t about us. It’s about stepping outside of ourselves—seeing potential in others, serving them where they are, and taking action that makes a difference. Leadership happens in the little things we do every day: the conversations, the guidance, and the moments we choose to help instead of judge.

These lessons have shaped how I show up as a leader—and as a person. What about you? What leadership principles guide your daily decisions? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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