More intentional, less apologetic

More intentional, less apologetic

As seasoned professionals at a pivotal stage in life and career, it’s time we stop apologizing for things that don’t warrant an apology. Our tendency to over-apologize stems from a desire to please and deeply ingrained conditioning, often making our apologies feel automated.

Clutter isn’t just physical; it infiltrates our schedules and self-perceptions. Apologizing unnecessarily is exhausting and subtly reinforces a sense of inadequacy. It hinders self-trust and clouds our connection to our inner guidance.

Here are 10 things we should stop apologizing for:

1. Prioritizing Self-Care

Investing in your health enables you to perform and connect more effectively. There’s no need to apologize for practices like going to bed early, taking time off, or engaging in unconventional self-care. Good health is paramount, so prioritize it without guilt.

2. Being Persistent

Whether dealing with insurance companies or pursuing business goals, persistence is crucial. You don’t need to apologize for following up on important matters. Your requests are your priority, not a burden.

3. Seeking Clarity

Curiosity and the pursuit of new ideas are essential for growth. Don’t apologize for asking questions or seeking deeper understanding. It’s not about you; it’s about fostering better solutions and perspectives.

4. Saying No

Saying no is a critical part of maintaining balance and well-being. Avoid the guilt of disappointing others by recognizing that overcommitting leads to personal burnout. A simple, polite refusal is enough.

5. Being Authentic

Authenticity is non-negotiable. Don’t change who you are to meet others’ expectations. Embrace your true self—your passions, preferences, and values—without apology.

6. Changing Your Mind

Flexibility is a strength, not a weakness. Sticking to outdated ideas or commitments benefits no one. Allow yourself to evolve and adapt as circumstances change.

7. Responding Slowly

In the age of information overload, taking time to respond is necessary. Don’t apologize for delayed replies. Acknowledge your pace and maintain your well-being.

8. Letting Go of What No Longer Serves You

Declutter your life—physically, emotionally, and mentally—without apology. Release what no longer supports your goals and well-being to make room for new opportunities.

9. Feeling Your Emotions

Emotions are a natural part of being human. Don’t apologize for expressing feelings. Vulnerability fosters connection and healing. Seek professional support if emotional expression feels particularly challenging.

10. Setting Boundaries

Establishing boundaries is essential for maintaining mental and physical health. Don’t worry about others' reactions. Embrace the discomfort of setting boundaries to avoid future resentment.

By reducing unnecessary apologies, you’ll free up emotional and mental space for meaningful interactions, genuine apologies, and self-forgiveness. Reflect on where else you can minimize apologies to enhance your personal and professional life.

Olga Veligurska (CRP, MSc)

Director, Global Alliance of Reinvention Professionals

3 个月

Interesting perspective - unnecessary apologies/guilt trips as a mental clutter, very true!

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Jeanne M. Stafford

President of Stafford & Company ? Collaboration Specialist ? Reinvention Strategy ? Forbes Contributor

3 个月

Love them all, Helena Herrero Lamuedra, Hybridpreneur. It’s one of my biggest pet peeves. Number 6, truly rings true. Changing your mind is flexing your mind and standing in your authority. Thank you for this!

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Michael Emmart, Ed.D., CRP

Champion of improved outcomes for children, families, and communities.

3 个月

Thank you for sharing this, Helena. I've likely apologized in each of these ten categories, and I'm quite certainly its happened more than once in several of them. I've worked hard to consider the issue of harm. If I've harmed you, then an apology is certainly warranted; however, if I'm apologizing due to that "deeply ingrained conditioning" you speak of... that's where my effort is these days.

Kerry-Jo Ford Lyn

International Development & Operations SME ? Reinvention Specialist ? Supporting executive leaders and organizations with a social mission in navigating disruption without compromising their well-being and values

3 个月

So timely - this is oftentimes learned behavior for girls who grow into women in the workplace and in relationships that expect more bending, less boundaries. A great message for us at any and every age.

Nannapat Sage, ICF-PCC, SHRM-SCP

Empowering Executives and Teams to Reinvent Leadership, Enhance Organizational Capability, Agility & Innovation ?? | Future-Proof Your Business | ICF Certified Executive Coach

3 个月

I totally support these 10 tips, Helena. Some of my clients learned that they apologize as a habit without realizing that they need to prioritize their needs and be able to stand up for themselves and their boundaries. Stopping apologizing helped them focus more on the importance of their own needs.

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