More ICANs please

“I cant do talks, I can’t write a book and I can’t hold my thoughts together long enough to make any sense.” (my self talk today)

Back from doing a talk at my local BNI meeting vowing never to do one again. I couldn’t get keynote to work on my MacBook, I realised halfway through that I hadn’t really said what I do in my business, rather just skirted round and said not much at all and probably banged on about my struggles in business just a tad too much…. How many times do people want to hear I am getting over depression…. The slide show of photos of ‘successful workshops’ not shown as I ran out of time..

The biggest laugh (probably the only one) and one I know I can be certain of is when I mention the heading of a speech of mine, ‘Dancing, Doodling and Daily sex.’

I am trying to go down the route of being totally open and honest, more myself, so that surely would make it easier for me to talk confidently… but I find myself cringing, wondering if I am being too personal, if what I am saying is anywhere near professional enough.

Then I realised that one of the key reasons I set up my business in the first place was based on hearing people say “I’m not creative” “I can’t …..” and blow me down, I wasn’t saying ‘I’m not creative’ “I can’t be creative, just “I can’t” to everything else.

If I don’t believe in myself, how can anyone else..

“Wether you think you can or you think you can’t you are right.” Henry Ford

So how do I turn “I Can’t” Into “I Can”

Believe in yourself 

Don’t give yourself any other option. If other people can do it, so can you. 

Be kind to yourself 

just because you see someone else give what you see as the perfect speech doest detract from yours. “Success is comparative to where you start in life.”

Know what your aim is 

knowing where you want to go with the conversation will help to give you that extra confidence boost.

Ignore the definition of perfection

Is anyone perfect? I used to be perfect, but I’m alright now… OK I am guilty of striving for perfection a lot, and have to constantly tell myself it is OK to make mistakes… 

Keep it basic

There really is no need to use big words. The simple facts voiced in an exciting manner will be more than enough. Don’t go off on too many tangents, I am very guilty of that. 

I am in the process of changing an inbuilt philosophy of why say what you mean when you can go all round the houses rather than just get to the point….

Revise before you talk

Simple revision of your talk will help you take it to a higher level. When people know that you are certain on what you're expressing, they will have faith in you. 

Self Talk 

Nip the dysfunctional self-talk in the bud. Once you get in the habit of observing your self-talk, noting whether or not it’s constructive, you’ll find it that much easier not only to inspire others, but also yourself.  

I am getting over depression…. My confidence has been knocked… and as people who have had depression will know it is a hard slog getting back to a place where you believe in yourself, and where your self talk is positive….. Tough but doable. 

Having now recognised that “I can’t” had crept into my subconscious self talk, “I CAN” now change it. 

The bit that worked best for me today was offering an exclusive to the BNI group to explain the ‘Daily sex’ bit. I said that I normally waited till the end of the ‘Dancing Doodling and Daily sex’ speech to reveal (titter titter) … but as for them and now for you I would reveal that ‘Daily sex’ is in fact an anagram of Dyslexia and I am slightly dyslexic. 

So I hope that in finding the answer for myself today I may have given you something to think about and all that is left to say is watch this space for news on the book ‘Dancing, Doodling and Daily sex’ and if I CAN, YOU CAN.