More in common than you think!

Big thanks today to National Centre For Social Research?https://www.bsa.natcen.ac.uk/latest-report/british-social-attitudes-39/culture-wars.aspx

Their latest annual poll reported by those lovely people at?https://www.positive.news/society/positive-news-stories-from-week-38-of-2022/?reports that:-

“The majority of the UK public are now in agreement with so-called ‘woke’ sentiments as the balance of public opinion shifts in favour of an inclusive outlook on?racial equality, immigration and sexual identity.”

That’s the take-away from the results of the National Centre for Social Research’s annual poll tracking the evolution of?British social, political and moral attitudes. Each year it asks 3,000 people for their views on life in Britain.

Which put me in mind of the report by More In Common whose summer (2022) survey and report “Briton’s and Gender Identity”?https://www.moreincommon.org.uk/our-work/research/britons-and-gender-identity/?included, amongst other observations, that:-

?

“by and large, the public take a “live and let live approach” as long as it doesn’t undermine notions of fairness and fair play. That explains, for instance, why most people were happy, or indifferent, to the idea of introducing more unisex toilets (and those who weren’t were far more concerned about men’s toilet hygiene than any worries about trans people).”

Apart from my deep joy at being absent from Twitter, belonging to no What’s Up groups, being largely ignorant of Tik Tok, not knowing how Instagram works (never mind the plethora of other more up to date and immediate platforms), I have also determined to cut out (largely successfully) the “inaccurate” balance of BBC (both-sideism is not balance) news short form reports, and all other headline news driven outlets. I do still read Private Eye and The New Statesmen, along with articles from, sometimes entire issues of, The Critic & The Spectator as well as recommended “long read” articles from a wide variety of sources. I try and make time to listen to long form in-depth interviews, or at least the whole of an interview (or lecture – Emily Maitliss’s McTaggart lecture being an example – completely different to the short reports from the usual suspects).?

I share this only to explain that I do this for my own sanity and well being. (Incidentally I am also aware that there are a lot of great uses for all the above named and I am not anti-technology or anti-social media, for my part I have tried to construct a “digital diet” that serves me, so I do use Linkedin and Supernova, and am sad to miss out on Brutal Recovery on Instagram amongst others – but heigh ho).

The most important (to me) line that I am investigating, albeit in an ad hoc way, is to do with the notion of “stigma” around alcoholism and addiction because when I work with clients, many of them talk about stigma as a block to treatment, engagement in recovery and being misunderstood yet whenever I talk to regular people, most of them to borrow from More In Common’s observation, seem to “(the public) take a “live and let live approach”.

I understand that some people might be quite reactive to drunken behaviour, or drug influenced ones, but that is not stigma (or even judgementalism), I can appreciate that some people are made uncomfortable by details of addictive behaviours too, but that is not stigma – in most cases I have found people to be nothing but supportive of those that seek treatment and recovery.?

When I came into recovery I believed that there was a stigma toward addiction, treatment and recovery – that I would be judged for much – and maybe some people do judge, and do stigmatise me* – and others, although they would be hard pressed to judge me as strenuously as I do myself. In the last couple of years I have taken to asking clients what stigma they have experienced personally, very few can find examples.

Does the “stigma” live on the same extremes as the evidenced realities on gender identity and other polarised debates (that is what poor use of social media – and any other kind of media actually)?

If so how can we connect with and talk to others gently, compassionately and thoughtfully and come to realise there is less division than we are led to believe?

*If you find yourself judged or stigmatised by the words or actions of others, find someone nicer to talk to??