No more bullying please!

I am surprised how verbal or physical abuse (bullying) is socially accepted among minors. My son, on the way home, was kicked, we went to the police, who minimized the facts, they are minors, it is not a big problem, involve the school or try to mediate with the parents of the aggressor.

My daughter has classmates who constantly annoy her without the teacher noticing it. When my daughter reports them, the bullies play innocent and they twist things saying: She is being rude, because she is ignoring me.

Why don't they believe my daughter or my son? as they are still children, they are learning to manage their emotions; if after being teased by other students they react explosively; In addition to putting up with the Bully, they must also put up with doubt from their teachers; since they believe the minor who remains calm, not the one having an emotional distress. The bullies know this, and they push the buttons of other children to making them look bad in front of adults.

Frustrating? Yes, and a lot; Schools have no power over this type of aggressions; my children have been to 3 different schools and all of them try to convince them that being bullied is a misunderstanding.

On the other hand, If an aggression is proven, the bully talks to the principal, he/she is put on probation so as not to be suspended, they make him apologize, sometimes verbally, sometimes in writing; and according to school authorities the incident has been resolved.

The other challenge, for us, as parents, is that Schools focus on one incident at a time; and they don't see the whole picture. Schools don't care about the number of incidents one child can have, they only care about the moment; the rest is in the past. Parents are the ones who must deal with the emotional consequences, nightmares, behavior changes, new insecurities and fears of our children. If you share these things with the school, they think you are exaggerating or being too overprotective, reading between lines: "sorry! that's not my problem".

School authorities; they want to keep parents out of the equation as much as they can; they want the minor to manage everything and if parents, like my wife and me; they begin to get involved, and being on top of each incident, we are easily classified as difficult parents. School authorities forget that in addition of being parents, we are the legal guardians of our children; that it is our duty and obligation to protect them legally, physically and emotionally.

As parents, we can ask that our children not speak to a certain adults without our consent and even ask that when adults speak with them, one must be present. Of course, to this day, no school accepts those terms; knowing that I have the legal right for such requests; however, by doing it, I have noticed an improvement in the way the School authorities approach my kids.

Bullies at schools; They do not have any type of fear of the consequences that they can give them, they know that they are untouchable, becase the their actions are not really stopped by:

• Make them miss a recess.
• Make them write a letter of apology.
• Make them miss some recreational activity.
• They are suspended for a few hours and hardly a day or more.
• They report the situation to their parents, when many times they are the ones who support this type of behavior.

Why should we be waiting until bullyies get older and start getting serious consequences?

I am against any kind of child abuse; and when I talk about implementing consequences for minors, I'm not looking for any type of aggression, but there must be some ways to begin to change this type of behavior.

For example, in some countries, if a driver pass through a red traffic light; the person, in addition to paying the fine; also have to go to a driving course.

Following that example; if a minor is identified as a bully by several of his School peers and on multiple occasions; Why is the minor not sent to emotional therapy? or the school could request a social worker to visit that child's home and investigate what is going on in the home. Parents should pay part of that service, in case they don't have money, they could do community service.

Like everything, that would be money, in an initial stage the cost would be high; but how many minors have gone off the right track for not being intervened on time? How much money could a government save if it acts proactively during the formation of a person; how many crimes, legal costs and incarceration costs could be saved?

What if parents work together so our voice can be heard by School, Local, Provincial, and even Federal Governments, a single voice saying: "No more bullying please!"