No More Bad Days - Is it a Choice?

You ever have a really bad day? The kind of bad day that makes you wonder, what's the point of charging ahead when you just know it's going to continue to worsen as the day progresses. Now close your eyes for 1 minute, really put your into the frame of mind as that day unfolded. Now open your eyes.

Was that day truly the worst day ever?

Odds are, you're likely going to answer no. You're going to answer no, because there have likely been worse days since then or at least bad says that measure up to that one.

Have you ever stopped to consider that you choose what days are going to be bad and which ones are going to be good? Who really determines your day is a good or bad day? Sure those around you may make mention of how your day is going, but ultimately you are the one that determines or defines the state of your day. Sure, a few things didn't go your way, perhaps you woke up late, arrived to work late because of traffic, spilled something on yourself, dropped your phone, heard about a health of someone you know, etc etc etc. Sure, enough unanticipated actions add up, and you may determine that yes, this is a bad day. My question is, just because everything is lining up, mercury is in retrograde, or nothing seems to be going your way, does that really determine that your day is bad, or are you choosing to call it a bad day. By choosing to call it a bad day, you choose to acknowledge that things are not within your control, in fact you may be giving them greater power by making the distinction of a good versus a bad day. You ever think that by choosing to define this day as bad, you may encourage subsequent bad days, weeks, or even months.

You have a choice in determining whether you day is good or bad, it's called perseverance. Even at its' core, the choice is yours. If you choose to believe that the day isn't bad, but in fact a byproduct of certain occurrences that are outside of your scope of control, the day could in fact be an average day or even a good day.

I used to have bad days, typically one a month. Each bad day was a doozie. I would allow myself to get worked up to the point I wasn't just trying to get through the day, I was making subconscious choices to self sabotage... at least then I could celebrate my failure in epic fashion... because sometimes there's nothing that really demonstrates you're having a fully dramatic day, then saying F*&k it and dousing yourself in gasoline prior to lighting the match. I mean when you get to that point... you're like how much worse can it get. They were a ritual... "See I knew it"... "Yup, here we go again"..."I'm just destines for misery..." The truth is I would get so disengaged, I'd reach a point of almost total utter breakdown. The last time I truly had a bad day, was watching a big real estate deal I put together fall apart an hour before closing. I was getting both sides and was excited to receive a $30K pay day... only for it to crash and burn.... one thing just sent me from cloud9 to the deepest pit of misery & despair. It took me about 30 minutes to snap out of it... I was sitting at my desk when I received a chime from outlook that a new email came in. It was an email that brought pristine clarity to the situation. The email was from Brian Buffini (A brilliant Coach & Motivation Speaker I had the pleasure of meeting), thanking me for the delicious brownies I had sent to him with my appreciation for sharing perspective at his last Mastermind Event in San Diego. The topic was mindset and winning the day... I mean I was in a state of shock... the timing of the email was uncanny. Brian Buffini's assistant sent me a photo of Brian holding the brownies I sent him... and then it hit me... If Brian was here, he's probably clock me in the head and say, "what the hell are you doing? (with an Irish accent)" And with that Irish intervention, I pulled myself out of that tailspin and was determined to win the day, and that's exactly what I did.

Since then, I haven't truly had a bad day. In fact, I have re-wired my brain to not even acknowledge that bad days are even a possibility. And... before you say Sean hasn't really had a bad day since (how you would define a bad day), let me tell you a little something. on March 30th, 2020, I had the mother of all bad days, several of them back to back to back, consisting of:

• A severe house fire where nearly everything I owned was ruined (uninsured)
• Spent that night in my car after no hotel would allow me to bring my dog in the middle of Covid
• All my transactions fell apart
• My car was stolen
• My laptop was stolen from my car
• Social Media accounts were hacked and banned
• Parents were each in the hospital due to unrelated events
• And then there was my post cancer screening that said my cancer had returned

I think my friends, family, and coworkers were waiting to see if I would snap, crackle, or pop... Through the entire situation, I never allowed myself to acknowledge I was having a bad day or week. I was a man on a mission because I had made the decision to classify the events that unfolded into 2 groups, what was within my control, and what was outside of my control.

• Could I control the fire? Outside of my Control
• Could I control the pet policy of the hotel? Outside of my Control
• Could I do anything to save transaction that fell apart because of Covid? Outside of my Control
• Could I have done anything to prevent my car from being stolen? Outside of my Control
• Could I have seen the future and prevent my laptop from being stolen? Outside of my Control
• Could I control my social media? Outside of my Control
• Could I do anything about my cancer? Outside of my Control
• Can I make an effort to stay positive and make the best of each situation moving forward? Completely within my Control.

We all have it within ourselves to determine our own destiny. We must recognize that how we define each day, has a direct impact on our lives and those around us. On a side note, despite all that was going on, I chose to define that day as a Good Day because I survived a night fire, I slept in my car and went to my home at dawn and discovered the fire wasn't completely out thereby saving the house, re-kindled those transaction, recovered my car, bought a new computer, reconnected to my social media account, my parents recovered, and my tumor marker test turned out to be inaccurate. If I would have acknowledged that day as a bad day, I'm certain I would have had completely different outcomes.

In conclusion, I no longer have bad days. In fact it's my intention to never fall into the trap of labeling a series of events outside of my control a "bad day." Remember, only you can determine whether a day is good or bad. No one else has that power. When you realize that every day that you are above ground is a good day, you realize you're on the path to living the good life... sure not everything will go your way, and yes there are things that will stress you out, but as long as you consciously choose to define each day as a good day, you'll have a better appreciation for the days ahead in your future.