To be more authentic doing 9 things will make us better.

Human beings are mysterious and magnificent.

We are incredibly complex, and that complexity creates a plethora of problems, especially as it pertains to relationships.

Coaches and mindset experts profess to have all the answers, but most haven’t done the difficult work of appreciating the science behind deeper human understanding, especially of themselves.

Authenticity, find your why, and build your tribe are popular nomenclature but cliches and trends often lead people astray in their efforts to create purpose and more life satisfaction. Not to mention, many of these teachings have flaws that are never adequately addressed.

Better to start with the basics, and that includes a rich understanding of human fallibility and some of the peculiar reasons many of us struggle to create authenticity.

Authenticity is more than tattoos, screaming in the streets, coloring our hair or embracing a cause. It takes work, patience and dedication.

Knowing yourself is the beginning of wisdom". Aristotle

Here are 9 things you might not know about yourself that could be holding you back:

Our perspective is distorted

Research at Princeton University has discovered the way we see ourselves is distorted.?It’s called “introspection illusion”.?As a result, our self-image has little to do with our actions.?We believe we are well intended, moral, just, so we judge others more harshly not realizing we are guilty of many of the same inconsistencies.?People advocating authenticity seldom appreciate the impact of our "unconscious mind" and neglect looking deep within themselves to improve authenticity.????

Our motives are unclear

People often provide answers on self-assessment surveys that are different from information obtained from experiments designed to measure “instant reactions”.?These tests provide insight into spontaneous or habitual components of our personality.?The result, people don’t know themselves nearly as well as they think they do. When our motives are unclear, so is our path in life.???

Our image matters

People close to us often have a better idea of who we are based on “characteristics” that truly reveal who we are predicated on “behavior”.?Because we lack the ability to “observe ourselves”, we miss the subtle signs others identify.?Nonverbal communication for instance.?It’s difficult to know yourself without trusted friends offering insight on how they perceive us.?How many people actively seek this insight and wisdom? Not many.?

Our ability to be alone is healthy

Gaining understanding into our unconscious motives can help improve well-being. Scientists at Friedrich-Alexander University of Erlangen-Nürnberg in Germany have shown a correlation between well-being, conscious goals, and unconscious motives.?Many people aim incredibly high without appreciating the impact of achieving big goals.?Mindfulness can help mitigate the effects of distorted thinking and ego protection. Learning to be alone and love ourselves is a critical part of this process.

"Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment". Laozi

Our imposter might be right

In scientific studies at New York University researchers discovered people overestimate their ability.?Most people grossly exaggerate their talents, which is why I believe so many people fail when pursuing entrepreneurial ambitions.?Most people don’t appraise their true talent accurately, then set off to do something they probably shouldn’t.?Sound harsh??No, it’s honest and it’s based on science.?A moderate inflation of the facts can be helpful.?A distorted perspective can create a myriad of preventable setbacks.????

Our setbacks are related to self-condemnation

Unfortunately, our past can play a critical part in our future success.?Research at the University of Texas in Austin has shown that individuals consumed with self-doubt seek confirmation of their negative perception of reality.?This might explain abusive relationships.?It also explains why certain people seek the negative confirmation that prevents success.?They unconsciously seek conflict that promotes that condemnation they require to feel comfortable.???

Our desire to impress is hurting us

Many people seek to impress others and need to appear truthful or competent.?This leads to manipulation and arrogance.?The theory, when people "perform", they start to believe their own bias which is often inconsistent with reality.?Our desire to impress has been the subject of numerous studies that demonstrate we aspire to look good and that promotes self-deception. This is precisely the behavior that drives social media and corporate virtue signaling.

Our insecurities improve moral conviction

Insecurity is often considered a negative quality.?However, it does keep us humble and often encourages assiduous actions.?For instance, people who question their generosity are inclined to give more.?Studies at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology suggest people that believe who are kind, generous, wise are less likely to "prove their virtue" with public performance and spend more time making a difference.?

Our flexibility is imperative

The best example of this is the growth mindset.?People that believe failure is fatal refuse to improve because doing so would suggest fallibility.??When we embrace the flexibility of personal improvement, we appreciate that effort can impact positive change.??At the same time scientists at the University of Heidelberg in Germany have shown believing characteristics are “static” helps encourage safety in an unpredictable world.?That tendency prevents personal growth and improvement.?????

"To grow yourself you must know yourself". John Maxwell

Sum it up

Are you taking the time to know yourself??Share your thoughts in the comments section and please like and share this article. I love learning from you as well.

About Steve:

Steve Wohlenhaus is CEO of Weatherology, the leading company in the world at disseminating audio weather information.??Steve began his career as a major market television weather anchor in Minneapolis, where he received several Emmy Awards for science programming.?Steve is an author and host of the podcast program Anatomy of Success.?Reach out and connect with me on LinkedIn.?Learn more about my work and grab the free Weatherology mobile app by clicking any picture in this article!