The Monster Called Fear

We all contend with a monster. Some of us have several and some of us have few. Despite how many, we all have them. Your monster of fear has been created and nurtured over the years. Maybe through trial and error, maybe more error. Perhaps we have fed our fear with self-defeating thoughts or irrational behavior.

In this episode of Digging In, we have the wisdom of two incredible graduate level professionals in their field: Heather Lawson, Licensed Professional Counselor, and Marriage and Family Licensed Counselor Tricia Collins, who is also a Certified Eagle Leadership Coach and Deputy of our Leadership Coaching division at ECFL.

They lead us to look at our own monsters and they challenge us to begin the journey of overcoming our fears.

We start with what we believe feeds the fear and that is self-doubt. What is your self-doubt? Where do you experience uncertainty that leads to fear? What areas could you allow yourself to be aware of so that you can begin the process of addressing your fears?

Tricia tells us to “take a deep breath and walk into it”. We are never too young or too old to hear this. Life offers us the playground both professionally and personally to constantly explore this behavior. We can place ourselves in the role of an avid learner, not the expert our ego leads us to believe. We can allow ourselves to go to others and ask for insight. Courage is not the absence of fear.

Comfort brings an environment where we may not allow ourselves to experience self-doubt… fear. Am I allowing myself to be so comfortable that I take away the opportunity to learn?

Trusting yourself in fearful environments comes from knowing your values and what drives you even when your internal voice is unsure. It becomes the anchor to help you explore instead of run from fear. We don’t have to allow our emotions to control our response.

Let’s be aware of the physical and relational symptoms we experience when fear is growing. We may pull away or push back causing relational disconnects. We may not be putting words to the things we feel when we are fearful. This may cause us to be defensive and create a communication stand still with others.

Assumptions can fuel our fear. So, what do we do? How do we face the monster head on?

Just breathe. Take a step back so you can create space to think more clearly. “Thoughts drive emotions, emotions drive our behaviors”. Slow down enough to process. Don’t deny your feelings but allow yourself to feel them and determine how you want to choose to act or respond.

Once you have given yourself time to step back. That very next step becomes the step that determines your trajectory in the situation.

What is my next right step? Don’t overthink the situation. Instead assess your next step in light of your circumstance and the current environment.

So, what do you need to do to tame the monster? I challenge you to take a deep breath and walk into it, so that you can cross the line and lead beyond yourself and the monsters you have created.