Monster Attacks

Definition: a moment when Bob the Monster will try to eat your whole leg or maybe even take over driving your car. Who is Bob the monster you ask? See this First Round article published last week:

Typical Monster Attack example: when you hire someone to work for you or take over part of what you're doing, so you can grow and move on. Though giving away your Legos is an absolutely essential skill to develop inside scaling companies, moments like these usually mean you'll be be hit by waves of insecurity, territorialness, anxiety, regret, fear, etc. Those emotional waves are what I call a “Monster Attack.” Your brain is racing: What if this person is better at the job than you? What if everyone discovers that you were actually terrible? What if you're not good at your next job? What if you never feel as confident and comfortable in a role as you did in the last one? What if no one will ever hire you again? Wouldn't it just be easier to keep your old role?

The Good News: Monster Attacks are predictable! Change, transition, ambiguity are all facilitators of these emotional attacks. Once you've been through enough Lego transitions, you can actually start to anticipate how the next one might make you feel, which makes it less powerful. As a manager, you can actually anticipate these moments for people who work for you and help them anticipate how they might feel ("So when Suzie starts or when you start your new role or when we merge these two teams or..., you might feel any of the following emotions: fear, insecurity, territorial, etc. And that's ok. Feel free to come talk to me about it." Just a warning: they might not believe you before the first time it happens.)

What to Do in the Face of Monster Attack: You may want to give in to the insecurity and all your worst “monster” instincts in these moments. To grab all the Legos back and try to undermine the person who is taking part or all of your old job. It is a great time to practice your Bob-management skills:

1) Observe, don't act: It's normal to experience Monster Attacks regularly inside a scaling and growing company. There is so much change, transition, ambiguity, etc., as you build a company that you are often attacked by these waves of emotions. But even if they're normal, it's important to realize they're not useful for deciding what to do. So let the Attack happen — observe it, but don't send the angry email or unmake decisions about your job and career based on it.

2) Give it two weeks: You may feel the same way, even after sleeping on it. In my experience, Monster Attacks can last for a bit... I've found that two weeks is a great amount of time to help you decide when something is real. Monster Attacks tend to pass in two weeks or less; real issues stick around for longer than that. If it's been two weeks and you're still being attacked by those emotions, find someone (your manager, a mentor, etc.) to talk to about it.