Monopoly: Recruitment Characters Edition

Every Christmas, in many households, the iconic Monopoly board makes its appearance. Without fail, I always choose the car, clinging to the perhaps misguided belief that it brings me luck, speeding me around the board to buy up everything in sight. Of course, this rarely happens. Instead, I often find myself caught up in Chance and Community Chest cards, paying every fine imaginable before even passing "Go." Everyone has their own strategy—some aim to monopolise the cheaper brown and blue properties, while others hold out for Mayfair, confident in its reliable returns. To me, this mirrors the recruitment process, where you navigate until you land that one opportunity that truly supports you.

Over the years, I've encountered enough unique characters in recruitment to populate the next Marvel movie. Here are a few familiar types:

• The Contacts Hunter: Calls you despite knowing you're already in a role, not with a job offer, but fishing for the names of your bosses.
• The Shotgun: Sends you a barrage of job emails, with little regard for your actual skills or interests.
• The Smoke Blower: Calls to tell you you're amazing and just what they're looking for—without having seen your CV—but asks you to send it anyway.
• The Phantom: Reaches out with roles that seem perfect for you, you show interest, send your CV, and then... nothing. Silence.
• The No For An Answer: Contacts you repeatedly about a role you've already declined.
• The New Starter: Eager to chat about your life, not to discuss roles, but to add your CV to their database.
• The Over Familiar One: Asks how your kids are—even though you've never spoken before.
• Numero Uno: Claims to be the number one recruiter in the business.
• The Mate: Calls you "mate" on the first contact.
• The Keyboard Warrior: Insists on handling everything via email, avoiding any real conversation.
• The Genuine One: The rare gem—professional, genuinely interested in your career, keeps you updated, and really invests in helping you land the right role.

Of course, this is all in good fun. The recruitment market is fiercely competitive, especially at key times of the year, and every one of these recruiters is just doing their job. It’s a subjective experience, and I'm sure there’s a candidate version of this list too!

The truth is, respect is earned, honesty is appreciated, trust is gained, and loyalty is returned. It’s a two-way street: recruiters work hard to get you an interview, so it’s baffling when candidates don’t show up. Why burn a bridge before you’ve even crossed it? Some people talk about recruitment calls the same way they talk about spammy PPI calls—but often, that’s more about the attitude and arrogance of the individuals involved. The irony is, when they need those recruiters, they might find themselves blacklisted.

At the end of the day, recruitment is a service industry like any other, with its share of characters—some better than others. I’ve met some truly great people in this field. The ones I deal with now? They’re my Mayfair: a solid, reliable foundation that supports me along the way. But it took a few laps around the board to get there.

Thoughts?