Monologue...Heal, then..grow!

This is my monologue. Sometimes,?I wonder if anyone really gets it—if anyone truly sees what's beneath the surface of our everyday lives. It’s so easy to mistake the world for what it shows on the outside, but honestly? People have their own stories—far more complicated than the smile they flash at you. You’d think that smile tells the whole story, but it doesn’t. And here’s the thing: when a friend starts opening up about something deep, something personal… they’re not looking for you to fix it, or even for your opinion. They just want you to listen.

?Not the kind of listening where you nod and then immediately jump in with, “Oh yeah, I know exactly what you mean…” No, that’s not it. You need to listen with your heart, not your mind. There’s a huge difference. If someone is sharing their trauma, their painful experience, believe me, they’re not handing you a puzzle to solve. They’re offering you a piece of themselves, and all you have to do is be there for it. Hold space for them.

?Now, I’m not saying you need to be a therapist or have all the answers. Heck, half the time, your answers might do more harm than good if you rush to throw them out there. People aren’t asking for solutions most of the time—they’re just asking to be heard. You don’t want to be the one who brushes them off with a careless word or an opinion that shows you weren’t really listening. That’s how you lose people.

?Here’s a real risk: If someone is already dealing with low self-esteem, they’ll shut down even faster. They’ll decide, "Yeah, this person doesn’t get me. Maybe it’s better if I just don’t talk to them anymore." And there you go—friendship fading into silence. You might say, “Well, I don’t care, it’s their issue,” but the truth is, once that door closes, it’s hard to open again.

?You know what’s worse? When people compare. Oh, that’s the killer right there. “Oh, come on, everyone has problems, I went through something just like that…” No, you didn’t. Not in the same way. You can’t reduce someone’s experience to a “been there, done that” because everyone’s life story is different—their childhood, their family, the things they faced. You can’t just tell someone to stop feeling what they’re feeling because, in your opinion, it's no big deal. You have no idea what they’ve been through. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is… nothing. Just listen. Nod. Offer a smile or a soft “I hear you.” That’s all. Let them have their moment.

?Sometimes I think we forget that just being there for someone, without judgment or opinion, is a powerful act of love. People can sense when you’re not really listening. And they can definitely feel it when you’re judging them. If you respond with shallow understanding, you risk losing their trust. You don’t want to be the friend who makes them feel like their pain is an inconvenience. If they’re spilling their trauma, be there for that spill. It’s messy, but it's real. And it's them.

?And, honestly, don’t think every conversation is an open invitation to give your advice. If they want your take, trust me, they’ll ask. Otherwise, keep it in your pocket for another day. You can do more harm than good by jumping in with “fix-it” mode when all they really needed was for you to sit quietly with them in the dark.

?Look, I know we all have bad days. Sometimes those days stretch into bad weeks or bad years. And we all cope differently. Maybe your friend is having one of those days—or one of those lives—and you don’t fully get it. That’s okay. But stop judging. People are carrying things you can’t see. Instead of trying to fix it or compare it to your own experience, how about this: offer them understanding. Real, deep, heart-driven understanding. Even if you don’t fully get it, make space for them to feel what they feel. Be the friend who listens without needing to fix things. You’d be amazed at how much that means to someone who feels like the world has been deaf to their pain.

?Oh, and here’s another thing: approach people with care. Manners aren’t outdated. Being mindful of how you speak, how you react, and even the questions you ask—these things matter. Sometimes people shout or lash out, and it’s easy to take it personally. But more often than not, they’re not mad at you. They’re fighting their own battles, and you just happened to be there. But if you’re wise enough to realize that quickly—if you catch it before it turns into something bigger—you can make amends. Relationships are delicate, and they require that kind of care.

?At the end of the day, we’re all just learning how to navigate life. No one has it all figured out. So, if you’re feeling drained or off, take a step back. It’s okay to take a break from the people who make you feel out of sync. Do your own thing. Read a book, watch something that makes you laugh, maybe talk to a baby—they’ve got the simplest wisdom, I swear. You’ll feel better, I promise. Healing is what it’s all about.

?So, my friend, heal. Take your time. And remember that sometimes, the best thing you can do for someone else is to listen—with your heart, not your mind—and just be there. Life is hard enough without us rushing to offer advice when what people really need is someone to share the silence with. #mentalhealth #sanity #healing #healingjourney #theartoflistening #communication #emphathethiclistening #HealingJourney #ListenWithHeart #EmpathyMatters #EmotionalWellness #BeThere

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