Money & Relationship

Day 67

I remember many years ago my cousin after completing his graduation wanted to start his own business of exhibiting stuff at exhibitions.He didn’t have a lot of experience with managing money & none of our family members were into business like a typical south Indian family. He needed to borrow Rs7000/-. My uncle, his parents wouldn’t lend him stating it's their hard earned money. So he came to me as I was not only the eldest among cousins but also the only earning member of his generation. By the way we are 9 cousins & all very closely knit. So he came to me & explained what he was going to do I was convinced looking at his passion & clarity of thought & focus. I decided to go ahead & lend him the money without telling anyone. The business was foundered but the money was gone. The business was gone & he owed me the money too. He didn’t call me back. He just kind of severed the relationship. After dogging my calls for almost 6 months, I decided to give a surprise visit to his place. Ofcourse now left with no choice he had to face me. I behaved very normal as I knew he had not told about this to anyone at home. I could see the fear & nervousness on his face. I just smiled & said lets go for a walk in the garden on our backyard brother. No one suspected anything because that was a very normal thing for us. As soon as we were out he started his apology speech. I stopped him & simply said I want you to remember “this is not the way to treat someone who trusted you. It’s ok that you don’t have the money. We can work out a way for you to get the money & pay it back over time. But it’s not okay to break off the relationship like that.” Of course he did apologize again but this time his tone was more genuine. We discussed why his plan failed, his learnings & what could have been corrected. Then we came with a plan to restart & this time involved our 3 more cousins in the plan too. Also a plan to repay the money. In a few months his business saw the light of the day. Finally it was all sorted.?

Reflection by Dr Anjana https://www.dhirubhai.net/in/anjanavinod

Reflect in life & recall when was the last time you ignored someone's calls just because you didn't have an answer to give? I feel more than how one manages money, how one deals with people who have trusted you is the base of any relationshi Returning back loans on time is important. But due to some circumstances, if one cannot do it then it does not mean you run away from that person or ignore him. You should be honest with him/her because he/she was the one who trusted you. Remember money can be earned again but not the trust. Trust, respect, love,empathy, & acceptance, minus indifference, equals successful relationships. One can’t just give up on someone because the situation is not ideal. Great relationships are not great because they have no problems, they are great because both people care enough about the other person to find a way to make it work The Irony of life is I trust you is a better compliment than I love you because you may not always trust the person you love but you can always love the person you trust. A broken trust is like a melted chocolate no matter how much you try to freeze it, it will never return to its original shape. Communicate & share your problems & trust. Be ok to face the music rather than stay without a band for the rest of your life. Its true that relationship never die a natural death they are murdered by ego, attitude & most importantly ignorance & assumption. Its not the distance but the doubt created by no communication that ruins relationship. Let's go ahead in life & build a strong bond because a relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service all you can do with it is play games.*How do you read this story*

1. Given a chance if you had to pick your phone & mend one relationship who would it be?

2. What does this story open up for you?