Money Problems and Divorce

Over the last 8 years I’ve spent a considerable amount of time and energy learning all I can about divorce. While a significant amount of my knowledge and understanding of divorce came from my studies and learning objectives as a Divorce Financial Analyst, there have been many things I have learned along the way that didn’t come from a manual. There’s an old saying that goes, “You can’t tell someone what it is like to eat an orange, unless you have eaten one yourself.” Through the experience of my own divorce, I have eaten that orange, and a sizeable portion of crow to go along with it.

It’s no surprise that one of the main causes of divorce is money problems. Along with infidelity, and lack of communication as other reasons for divorce, money problems can erode the fabric of many relationships. To better understand money problems, we need to take a deeper look into what exactly constitutes money problems and further dissect it from the broad term it has been labeled.

Money problems can be present in many ways. It can be a result of poverty and or loss of income, a clash between individual upbringing and belief systems, it could be a result of one spouse who overspends or hides assets from the other, or it could be a simple lack of effective communication or financial goal setting. Whatever the reason, if money problems are the root cause for divorce, how could the extra cost of expensive legal fees provide any solution to the originating money problems? How could seeking divorce, that is caused by money problems, solve the money problems, when divorce, in many cases, causes additional money problems? What came first, the chicken or the egg?

Divorce is a very tumultuous and emotionally charged time in a couple’s life that can leave a significant emotional and financial impact in its wake. However, regardless of the potential financial complexities that may be present in a separation or divorce case, most divorce cases are handled by lawyers. There are countless articles and publications, including the information provided on many public and government sites all indicate that the first step to take when facing separation or divorce is to seek the guidance of a family law lawyer. Yet, not all problems that a couple faces in separation or divorce are legal.

An adversarial, rational, logical approach may be the only solution to rectify some situations, but is there an opportunity to view divorce from a proactive, financially analytical perspective? Can we opt for an ounce of prevention versus a pound of cure approach? How many divorced couples have regrets when they realize the poor financial situation that they were facing prior to divorce has now become more dismal and overwhelming, post divorce? Perhaps it isn’t so much about the money problems, rather how the money problems are dealt with.

If we want to decrease the amount of divorces that occur because of money problems, we need to help couples solve the financial issues that lead them further along the path to divorce. We need to help identify and reduce the financial stress factors that are plaguing them by helping them to achieve better communication strategies, and problem-solving techniques. In the case of money problems, divorce is a permanent solution to what may be a temporary problem.