Money on My Mind

Money and Power: Take Control or Let Someone Else Hold the Reins

Money is one of the most misunderstood, powerful and polarising topics we face. For many, it can represent freedom and empowerment. For others, it carries the weight of fear, guilt and uncertainty. If you don’t take the time to figure out and empower yourself around money, the reality is simple—someone else will make the financial decisions you don’t enjoy.

And those decisions? They often don’t align with what you truly want. It’s time to reclaim your power, figure out your relationship with money and let go of the fears that don’t even belong to you.

Money as a Tool and a Source of Power

Let’s start with a simple truth: money is a tool. It is not inherently good or bad, moral or immoral. It simply amplifies who you are and the choices you make. More importantly, money is power - not power over others however, power over your own life, choices and decisions. It gives you the ability to make moves aligned with your desires and values. Yet, so many women find themselves shying away from money conversations, feeling uneasy or even anxious about financial independence.

Growing up in India, I witnessed firsthand how this dynamic can shape lives. It was always the men who controlled the money and as a result, the power. I saw so many women unable to make decisions or do what they truly wanted simply because they didn’t have financial control. Let’s face it: money is power, and without it, options become limited. Unless you’re living off-grid, money is an essential tool for living in the modern world.

This pattern played out between my parents and nearly every other adult around me, except for one inspiring couple—my uncle and his wife. They ran a business together and made financial decisions side by side. My aunty was empowered because she had figured money out. Seeing them collaborate, making choices together and supporting each other financially, was a powerful example of what financial equality could look like and as I grew up this is what I strived towards as well.

Your Money Story: Where It All Began

To know your relationship with money starts with looking at your past. How did you grow up with money? Were there constant conversations about not having enough? Was wealth seen as something only other people had? Or was money simply not discussed at all, leaving you with vague, uneasy feelings about your financial worth?

Take a moment to consider: Where did your fears around money come from?

For many, the answers lie in childhood. The financial stories passed down from our parents shape our beliefs, whether we’re aware of them or not. If your parents constantly worried about making ends meet, you might have internalised that fear. If they argued over money, you could associate finances with conflict. Alternatively, if money was never mentioned, you might find yourself feeling unprepared and under-equipped to handle it today.

The key question to ask is: Is this even my fear, or is it one I inherited? Growing up in an environment where financial control was skewed taught me that lack of financial awareness can limit you, while being involved in financial decisions can empower you.

Fear: A Barrier or a Message?

Fear has an interesting role in our lives. The fear of financial independence can be a protective mechanism that kept your ancestors safe, and yet today it could be holding you back. Instead of letting it paralyse you, ask yourself: What is this fear trying to tell me?

Fear is rarely about logic; it’s about survival. In today’s world, the fear of dealing with money often stems from emotional, not existential, threats. None of us can be completely fearless—that’s not the goal. Instead, we need to build the courage to face fear and question it.

Consider this: If you lost your job tomorrow, would you only focus on what you’ve lost, or would you hold on to what is still certain? Your skills, your network, your experience—these are assets no one can take from you. The fear of financial instability often convinces us that losing a job is losing everything, and that’s simply not true.

Money and Relationships: Equality and Empowerment

When one partner holds all the financial power in a relationship, the imbalance can strain even the strongest bonds. Being financially independent allows you to sit at the table as an equal, contributing to and guiding decisions. It’s not just about being able to buy what you want—it’s about feeling empowered to participate in the life you’re building with your partner. Without financial equality, there’s always the risk of feeling diminished, unheard or powerless.

Reflecting on my upbringing, I saw the contrast between relationships where only one person had financial control and those where decisions were shared. My uncle and aunt showed me that understanding money meant empowerment. She didn’t need permission to make decisions; she was part of them. That kind of partnership was rare and deeply inspiring where I grew up.

Rewriting Your Money Narrative

So, how do you begin to change your relationship with money? Start by acknowledging that your money story is not set in stone. The beliefs you’ve carried can be challenged and rewritten. The next time fear surfaces, take a step back and ask:

• Is this fear serving me?
• What does this fear want me to protect myself from?
• How can I act in spite of this fear?

By addressing your relationship with money, you begin to see it as the tool it is—an enabler of choices and freedom. You don’t need to become fearless; you need to become aware, proactive and engaged. That’s how you take the power back.

Take Control of Your Financial Power

You don’t have to do this alone. Redefining your money mindset is part of the work I do in my coaching sessions. Whether you need help navigating the fears you’ve inherited or building the courage to step into financial independence, I can guide you through this transformative process.

Don’t let the beliefs you didn’t choose control your choices. Reclaim your financial independence and embrace the power that comes with it. If you’re ready to talk, let’s work through these limiting beliefs together and create the financial confidence you deserve.