Money and Marriage

Have you ever taken the quiz the “5 languages of Love"? The quiz helps you learn your language of love. Relationships are a lot of work and require a lot of intentional effort. I find a stark similarity between the languages of love and the languages of money for couples. The 5 languages of love are Quality Time, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch & Receiving Gifts.

Whether you choose to share your finances, understanding how your spouse views money goes a long way.

Unfortunately money is one of the top reasons for divorce around the world. According to Marriage.com, “Money makes people funny, or so the saying goes, and it’s true. Everything from different spending habits and financial goals to one spouse making considerably more money than the other, causing a power struggle that can strain a marriage to the breaking point.”

Source: “10 Most Common Reasons for Divorce.” Best Marriage Advice - Get Marriage Tips from Experts, 15 Feb. 2019, www.marriage.com/advice/divorce/10-most-common-reasons-for-divorce/.

If you are soon to be married, these are some tips to help understand each other’s languages of money.

Quality Time

Photo by Charlie Hang on Unsplash

Discussing finances can be uncomfortable, however, understanding how you view finances compared to your spouse can help prevent divorce court.

Spend time together to determine who the best with finances is between the two of you. Just because you earn more than your spouse doesn’t mean you are the best when it comes to handling the finances.

Who will keep an eye on the budget?

How much financial risk will you take as a couple?

Do you want to share accounts?

Do you want to share expenses? 

Acts of Service

Photo by Ryan Cheng on Unsplash

Effective money management in your marriage is about sharing financial responsibilities. Discuss each other’s financial goals, and help each other in the decision-making.

Are your money habits helping you achieve your family’s financial goals?

Two heads are always better than one. A good budgeting tip is to live off one salary and use the other's salary to save, invest and fund your emergency fund. This will help you keep each other honest and on track towards your education, investment and retirement goals. It is also a good risk management technique in case something happens to the main breadwinner.

Words of Affirmation

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Work with your financial planner to determine your financial priorities. A sound financial plan will help you with future financial decisions, such as starting a business, leaving a job, opening an investment or making a huge purchase. Make your financial plan work for you.

Would you achieve your goals faster if you had a joint account?

Would it be easier to budget if income went to separate accounts?

These are all conversations needed to be had in order to feel more financially secure in your marriage.

Physical Touch

Photo by Alejandra Quiroz on Unsplash

When one spouse is left completely clueless into the financial affairs of the family or finances are not readily accessible between spouses it can cause a lot of angst and anxiety. Financial infidelity is defined as when couples with combined finances lie to each other about money.

Financial infidelity can be damaging in a marriage. You need to be there for each other and accepting that there is no way one person can be in charge of all the finances or have all the financial knowledge.

Money troubles can and most likely will arise during your marriage. Being there for one another will help strengthen your bond and help you make good financial decisions for your family.

Receiving gifts

Photo by Leonardo Wong on Unsplash

Celebrating your hard earned money together is a great way to enjoy your marriage. Recommended money management techniques for couples is to create joint savings accounts for vacations and big purchases. A general rule is saving 10% of your joint income into a joint savings account.

There can even be tax advantages when the higher income earner creates a retirement account for their lower income earning spouse. Talk to your financial planner to see if you can take advantage of these income splitting strategies.

In summary, marriage is tough enough as is. Having sound money management techniques is the financial version of #couplegoals. We all view money differently. Money to some is a form of security, power, independence, achievement, and currency for happiness. Understanding how your partner views money can help you live without great financial stress. Communicating honestly and openly about your financial habits and concerns helps create a financially sound marriage.

For a free family financial plan, send me a LinkedIn message.