"Money Doesn't Buy Everything..."

I admit it, my headline doesn't match this article's title. Yet former First Lady Barbara Bush said BOTH of these things. And while I fully agree that I can't understand how any woman, or man-whom-loves-women, could vote for Donald Trump, after he so crudely insulted women, ultimately as a 38 yr. seasoned CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER? I was more fascinated by her last comment; hence I chose it as my title.

Mrs. Bush said, "Money Doesn't Buy Everything; it’s accomplishments, what you’re doing and giving..." Wow, that's a mouthful, and those are timely questions indeed.

I have managed clients’ monies for almost 4 decades now, and have guided retirees through myriad life circumstances, many of which were void of any discussion about money. Granted, people with money indeed have more choices about solving vexing circumstances like finding and funding treatment for a sick child or dementia-affected parent, yet ultimately the emotional toll that an impaired-health diagnosis has on an individual and their family far outweighs any monetary concern. It is during these times that compassionate professionals can add immeasurable value, by simply listening to the angst, confusion, anger, grief, or whatever emotion our clients are experiencing, receiving that pain and just sitting with that pain, together. Not fixing. Sitting. Together. Empathizing.

I advocate that we return to, or create, a robust discussion of values, of new ways in which we can connect with, and help, each other. The internet surely provides us access to find others in similar circumstances as us, and to provide the forum in which clear discussion takes place; where people ask for advice, and recommendations, and offer their stories so folks going through awful circumstances don't feel so darned alone. The existence of crowd funding has provided a much-needed lifeline to countless folks in its short life.

Contrast that with Mr. Trump's repeated resorting to lawsuit threats, offers to pay his rally attendees' legal fees for man-handling protesters, stiffing Trump University students of their tuition funds, or making even higher profit margins by under-paying (or abject refusal to pay) his employees and contractors; his emphasis is unilaterally financial; i.e., what money is to be made here?

Mr. Trump's near incessant wielding of his wildly overstated net worth and annual income figures (and intelligence, yet we won't go there now) causes most people to cower under him. He knows that, and since it has worked so well, he repeats this bully behavior to the extent that it appears that principals or values run a very distant 2nd or 3rd place to the almighty dollar.

Mrs. Bush asks 'what are you doing and giving?' Mr. Khan, the gold star father of fallen Captain Humayun Khan, also asked Mr. Trump what he has sacrificed for America, to which Donald replied 'building buildings and embellishing his brand'. While that is Mr. Trump's choice as a businessman, this overt messaging in a Presidential candidacy alongside his bombastic claims that he and he alone has the answers to America's every social ill, and those of the globe, has resulting in a VERY confused and rambling message.

On the one hand he states he will work for everyone, while on the other hand, he continuously rails against and insults entire classes of Americans. On the one hand, he contends he will create jobs, yet mounds of evidence show he doesn't pay too many of his current contractors. On the one hand, he is a strong advocate about closed borders and eliminating illegal immigrants, yet he readily admits to hiring same, to keep his costs down. And then he boasts about his profit margins, repeating the mantra, "ahead of schedule, under-budget."

What Mr. Trump seems to be doing is denigrating nearly everything and everyone--the military, trade, women, Mexicans, industry, government, gays, disabled folks, Muslims--with the admonition to Make America Great Again, all the while ignoring the already great aspects of America. Is it because he didn't contribute to where we are today as a nation that he can't see or praise it? Is it because he hasn't paid any income tax in decades that he is criticizing our social services?

And what is Mr. Trump giving, Mrs. Bush asks. Well, he seems to be giving a lot of splintered-focus-speeches with a lot of stream-of-consciousness thrown in, to attempt to establish that he is the answer. Mr. Trump is metaphorically giving red meat to admittedly contented diners who heretofore were self-imposed vegetarians only because they couldn't afford meat. He's given them an insatiable appetite they didn't otherwise possess or request.

Mr. Trump has engendered a whipped-up sense of wrath about Obama care (of which many of his very supporters are the largest benefactors regarding premium subsidies and were quite happy thank-you-very-much to finally be covered) and lack of good paying jobs, and denial of global warming threats, he is spewing out a whole lot of angry rhetoric and fault-finding in group settings. And we all know the difference between group dynamics and personal dynamics. Groups can very quickly fall a certain way much like dominos if emotionally stoked.

Trump knows how to open small wounds to make them bigger, pour salt in those wounds by asking 'how could it get any worse for you?' (all the while folks weren't even asking that question of themselves or their circumstances) and then swoops in with grandiose claims to cure the very ills he has just sold the audience. There's no substantive strategy to bring about these claims, yet the audience is too duped to even discern whether these claims could be true, or to ask for details. When various conflicting instances or downright false claims were publicized, I think many Trump supporters found themselves too entrenched in the movement to retreat; no one gave them a comfortable exit path, so they stayed, many quite reluctantly. They were and remain nose-ringed with empty promises; sad.

The only more masterful play on, use of, individuals is how Russia's President Putin is using Mr. Trump; which continues to be lost on Donald. Mr. Trump revels in compliments, he buys compliments, he rewards compliments; witness his rewarding Putin with praise and encouragement to meddle in USA's politics, emails and election, even to the point of being labeled a traitor.

Back here at home, when throngs of folks sway with his music, Mr. Trump capitulates with off-the-cuff innuendo and repetitions of same--apparently either for emphasis or to buy him time to think of his next line. Ultimately he's claiming that his money will finance whatever he says (despite 4 or 6 bankruptcies) and leave him outside the grasp of special interest groups that may otherwise influence his thinking. His tax plan bias is to offer the deepest tax cuts to folks like him; not unusual for any candidate, yet he flat out denies it. His refusal to divulge his income tax returns is unprecedented, as is the public's tolerance of this secrecy.

While the media was giving him unlimited free coverage he was all smiles. When the media began playing tapes of his own interviews in which he contradicted himself, and giving equal coverage to Hillary Clinton and he cried technical foul; game over. He verbally abused individual anchors, reporters, networks and newspapers and ultimately will probably fund his own television news network after today, so that his views will always be front-and-center, despite their newsworthiness or lack thereof.

It's been my life and professional experience, however, that people and relationships matter in life. I'm here to remind us that the way the American people responded in reaching out and helping other people in need was heartwarming, most pointedly after the 9/11 tragedy, and also during each horrific shooting in the USA, as well as several natural disasters since then. It has also been admirable, and American, for ordinary folks to help other ordinary folks who just need a little help from their friends from time to time. This is the America I see; a compassionate gaggle of widely varying opinionated folks who are competitive and ambitious, yet, at the end of the day, caring.

So, yes, former First Lady, Barbara Bush, I'm with you on this; Money DOESN'T buy everything. Far from it! And Donald Trump's repeated attempts to relegate too many matters to 'what kind of a deal can be made' or 'what kind of money can be wrung out of a trade agreement' does nothing short of denigrate the integrity and value of America's and the world's citizens, at exactly the time that the world needs relationship and the world needs healing.

I hope that both our families and our businesses can mend fences and come together in productive measure to honor ourselves and our fellow neighbors--near and far. Finally, I hope that our businesses can ask for proof of various company claims and be able to verify certain company actions to ensure congruency with the company's motto.

I would love to see a #FactsMatter mindset return to Corporate America. I think corporate America can avert costly mistakes in the future, by listening to their valued workforce now. Yet anonymous-tips-avenues need created so folks can report suspicious activity--like the rampant and wholly unnecessary and illegal creation of multiple accounts for too many Wells Fargo customers. The embarrassment, tarnish of the WF brand, not to mention the mistrust now injected into financial services customers nationwide could all have been avoided if certain employees wouldn't have suffered the loss of their reputations, jobs, careers, or all three, by speaking up sooner about these abuses. We CAN do this, yes we can. Let's begin strategizing just how. Now.