Monday Musings -- Resisting Requests

More than a year ago, as I was working diligently and deliberately towards my Air Force retirement, I had the opportunity to participate in a four-hour skull session with a top LinkedIn voice.

If memory serves, at the time, he had somewhere north of 300,000 followers. LI limits the total number of direct connections you can have to 30,000. He implored my fellow soon to be military retirees to really work on their LinkedIn profiles and presence.

I began more deliberately, including adding at least two posts per week and enlarging my network. While my connections are just north of 3,000, and I don't think I will ever reach the upper limit, the short tips set following my inputs reminds me of how many invitations I have accepted from people I don't know, and also how many I have declined, and the "why" for both.

When people reach out to connect, if they include a message, I'm more inclined to accept the connection. If they reach out with a sales pitch or no message, it is a mixed response.

Where and when I think the person's profile is interesting, I generally accept. I also have connected via MS Teams, Zoom, Google Meets, and Webex with dozens of these new connections.

A good number of those new connections, I've also met in-person over coffee, lunch, or just a social visit. That has been quite fruitful both in terms of meeting interesting people and enlarging my continuous learning from others. In turn, I've invested time in reading resumes, making a few referrals, and trying to be value-added to others.

Regardless, when I do accept a new connection invitation, I send a short note back to each and every new connection.

The point of these nuggets below is to be judicious about those choosing connections. While this focuses on people we already know (coworkers or classmates), the same holds true for people we don't already know.

We only have so much time and bandwidth available each and every day. Make the connections something worthwhile and don't feel the need to respond to every message.

Quick example, I receive LinkedIn InMail several days each week. Some weeks, every day. Nearly every single one is a sales pitch of some sort. I ignore most of them. I do politely respond to a few that I'm not interested in whatever they are peddling.

That responding really has more to do with the tone and tenor of the message. Pure sales and request to schedule time together gets ignored. If the sender is more thoughtful with their wording, where I'm not interested, I will reply.

I have responded to a very select few that hold my interest. As the authors point out below, it is okay to simply say no thank you.

Resist the Impulse to Fulfill Every Networking Request by Deborah Grayson Riegel and Loren Margolis

When a former coworker or classmate reaches out on LinkedIn with a request for a referral, it’s normal to feel hesitant, especially if you’re not close with them or don’t yet feel established in your own role. How can you gracefully turn down their networking request?

Start by listening to your instincts—and trusting them. It’s okay to feel unsure about endorsing someone for a job or investing your energy into their career. Your time and social capital are limited; that’s nothing to feel guilty about.

If you don’t have the time to meet with someone now but might be interested in the future, let them know respectfully but honestly that you’re not in a position to commit the time to a meeting or to make a referral. You could still send them some helpful resources, such as related articles or information about a professional organization they might want to join.

Finally, resist the impulse to fulfill every request that hits your inbox. Focus instead on building genuine, mutually beneficial relationships, and don’t be shy about setting boundaries to maintain your professional integrity if you spot a red flag. Prioritize your growth, keeping in mind that it’s okay to simply say “no thank you” when necessary.