Monday, Monday

Monday, Monday, can't trust that day

Monday, Monday, sometimes it just turns out that way

Oh Monday mornin' you gave me no warnin' of what was to be

Oh Monday, Monday, how could you leave and not take me."

- The Mamas and The Papas

I can remember when Monday mornings used to feel torturous. It wasn’t about the “Sunday Scaries” either. Once Monday came and went, the rest of the week felt attainable, within my control. You may ask, “Why Monday mornings?” Well, my Muse, it’s because of decades of learned behaviors as an overly self-reliant, Type A C-suite executive. On a typical Monday morning, I would have been up hours before the sun came up, on several international conference calls, penned and scheduled over 20 emails, put out one too many “fires,” and likely talked a client or two (or an artist, CEO, CFO, COO) down from the ledge of anxiety. All while still in my pajamas.

Every other day, every other day

Every other day of the week is fine, yeah

But whenever Monday comes, but whenever Monday comes

A-you can find me cryin' all of the time...

During my self-imposed pause of 2023 (shout out to Jean Batthany 's “Art of the Pause”), I found myself without all the usual chaos. No fires to extinguish, no conference calls from +44 or +33 country codes. There was just me (next to my adorable French bulldog, Samantha), in the silence of the morning after my husband left for work, left with my thoughts that were telling me what a raging failure I was. It was brutal. But the reality is I was far from a failure; I was simply on a new course and had to relearn what Monday mornings could and would mean for me moving forward because that old way of life was not serving me anymore.

I had to learn to control my thoughts during that period and, more importantly, change the way I spoke to myself about myself. I remember many years ago, I would say, “It takes a lot to hurt my feelings because whatever you say to me, I’ve likely said it to myself 10 times worse.” What a terrible (and humbling) thing to admit. And I bet I’m not the only one who is alone in this behavior.

I now believe life and death are held in the power of the tongue. My Baba would constantly say to my sister and me, “Be slow to speak, guard your words for they have impact.” As I reflected a lot during my year of pausing, I realized that I had been speaking words against the very things I wanted for my life – joy, fulfillment, happiness, peace. Slowing down to the speed of the present enabled me to recognize the behavior. It was the crucial first step in my incredible journey on the path to change.

While I am far from perfecting this important skillset, I am conscious and proud of where I am today with my progress. My close friends encouraged me to take back the power of Mondays by doing something for myself – taking an exercise class, meditating, praying, journaling to create a new routine that was not reliant solely on what I did to contribute to paying the bills. This very newsletter is a testament to that change.

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day, someone whom I simply adore. She is going through a transition on her professional journey and is in her waiting season like so many I know. She was telling me how she is doing and how her search is going. When she was done, I told her I would love for her to speak powerfully over her life. To proclaim success and that she will find her new assignment. With conviction, I shared how it is simply ludicrous for her to believe she won’t be successful because she is so capable and talented. This wasn’t just me being an encouraging friend; it was me speaking the truth over her life.

We can tend to believe that our current situation is forever. It is not. It’s just a season and, whether we realize it or not, we have gone through many seasons in our lives. We are usually stronger and more capable than we give ourselves credit for.

So, practice this: Actively listen to someone. And before you respond, take a breath (pausing is your ally). I promise you this – what comes out of your mouth will likely be very different than what you expected to say. I am proud of you.

Go forth and be the way! I will be rooting for you always.

Musically yours,

Amani D.

If you want to meet up 1:1, you can find me at The NORTH by Female Founder Collective . Let's find time to uncover how powerful Mondays can be for you.