Moms, cut yourself some slack.

We've seen the headlines, we know the data, we feel the pressure – it's tough being a working mom right now.

Tremendous strides have been made over the last decade in corporate America to achieve pay-equity and greater representation of women in all levels, specifically management, the C-suite and boardrooms. We aren't there yet, but you can't deny the progress or the value diversity brings through results and innovation. 

I'm a huge believer that every crisis is an opportunity. However, when you look at the data and truths around us, we are unraveling hard-earned progress as it relates to gender equality and taking steps backward. Women are leaving the workplace at an alarming pace. While COVID-19 pushed workplace transformation into hyperdrive (i.e., flexible schedules, part-time opportunities, working from home, etc.), the pressure on caregivers, specifically working mothers, hasn't eased up. Why?

More than ever before, we hear about leading with compassion, approaching colleagues with empathy, and offering flexible work arrangements. I have the privilege of leading the Global Talent function at @Verizon and nothing has filled me with such pride as seeing companies lean in to support employees. I have never seen such "human" treatment of our colleagues and friends with such an authentic understanding and empathy for the situations we are dealing with every day. So, what's happening? Our employers are opening their arms to see us, hear us and tell us they get it – why are so many working moms leaving the workforce? 

I have a theory about women and vulnerability. We hold a high bar for ourselves (ahem, that bar is in the clouds, ladies!). We are champions and nurturers of all those around us. We empathize with other's situations and always raise our hands to help. Basically, yes, I'm saying that working moms are superheroes, fighting villains and helping the good guys, despite the risk of diminishing our powers. While I will not lecture on the all-too-familiar message to prioritize self-care (for now), I have to ask us working moms to check our vulnerability. 

We endorse and enforce our team members to achieve better balance. However, when it comes to our own well-being, we panic and shift our internal lens, trying to rationalize that it's acceptable for others but not ourselves. 

Listen, I get it – I have three kids and three dogs scurrying about each day. My life looks similar to an Instagram vs. reality post, and I will be first to own up to the fact that I am a work-in-progress when it comes to vulnerability. I may preach it, but I am a novice at best when it comes to practicing. 

Last month, I spoke at a conference about women in the workplace. I was prepped, ready, and then my ordinarily quiet dog decided to bark in the middle of the event. While I made a joke of it, I felt some combination of embarrassment and disappointment. Without a doubt, no one watching thought I was unprofessional and incompetent. Unfortunately, the voice inside of our heads can be louder than a stadium chanting positive reviews.

Two days later, I had to give an update in a team meeting. While it wasn't a big presentation, I was panicked because my husband was away helping our college-aged daughter and wouldn't be home to drop our first-grader off at school. Unfortunately, my update was at the exact time of drop-off. I gave my boss and a peer a heads up, and they offered complete reassurance that they had my back. If you know my boss, you know her support is 100% genuine, and as a working mom, you can't get a better leader. Even with her reassuring words, I was nervous to take the call from the car in case there was distracting background noise. Quite literally, everyone was supportive. And yet, I still felt panicked even with zero judgment. 

Moms, we need to be easier on ourselves. We need to embrace the opportunity to be vulnerable in all moments — even the small ones that I referenced above. When we celebrate our peers practicing self-care and kindness but miss the chance to mirror the same behavior, we raise the bar to impossibly high standards. And with the bar basically floating on Mars with the Perseverance rover, we put ourselves in the position to burn out, shut down and retreat. If we can't do everything perfectly at the quality we demand and expect of ourselves, at times, it feels like we shouldn't do it all. 

Our self-pressured perfection is nothing new. Women are infamous for looking at a job requisition, seeing ten skills needed for the role, and not pursuing it because they only had nine and therefore not "perfect" for the job. Today, the stakes are even higher because of the ever-expanding balancing act we are attempting while working from an obscure corner of the house as life rages on in the background. No matter how much we conquer in a day, somehow, we still feel less-than and even defeated. It's tough to be vulnerable and hold up the mirror. When you told your colleague it's completely acceptable if they need more time or support — that advice applies to you, too. We need to both give and receive grace. 

We need to accept and even applaud that we are doing the best we can under immensely challenging circumstances and adjust the weight we are putting on our shoulders. This is a hard-as-hell time for working moms, but I promise we will get through it...we will. We just need to cut ourselves some much-needed slack, open up those lines of communication and infuse a greater sense of vulnerability. I know it's easier said than done, but we are worth it.

 And if you need someone to give you a pep talk, just message me. I'm here for it, and I may ask for you to give me a boost in return. 

Let's be here for each other and ourselves.