To the mompreneur who’s trying to “do it all”

When someone asks you what you’re passionate about, what comes first: being an entrepreneur or a mother? It’s of course a silly question. But if you’re someone who is passionate about both, you understand the frequent identity crisis.?

As a new mother, it just recently became clear, just how unclear, the path to self-discovery is.?

Not long ago, I had the opportunity to pitch a big client, one that would pay almost 3x the amount my other clients were paying. The timing couldn’t have been any worse, though. Proposals were being accepted and interviews were being held just days before the due date of my first child. My mind should have been preoccupied with onesies, nursing bras and postpartum support…but I just could not shake the thought of leveling up in this way.?

The RFP was 9 pages long, requiring case studies, references, sample tactics, and everything in between. I’m typically not a fan of the lengthy PowerPoint presentation but I busted out all the stops and put together a 50-page presentation. Fifty slides is no joke!

But when the days kept passing and the pitch meeting still hadn’t been set, I began to realize that the chances of squeezing it in before going into labor were slim.?

My contractions started in the evening and with the plan to labor at home for as long as I could, I knew I was in for a long night. With maybe a few hours of sleep, I approached the morning hours knowing it was getting close to head to the hospital. In addition to taking a shower, doing laundry and making sure the baby’s room was perfect (yes, nesting is so real!), there was one other thing I had to do.?

I jumped in to put the final touches on my PowerPoint presentation. I fired it off in an email, 12 hours into labor, that said something along the lines of: “Wanted to let y'all know that the baby is likely making her official debut today…while we weren't able to find a time to schedule the proposal meeting, I wanted to at least share the deck for your review. I would absolutely love?the opportunity to walk your team through it.... I will reach back out in 7-10 days to check in!”

Three days after my baby was born, I was back in their inbox and the meeting was set. We jumped on a Zoom less than two weeks after I left the hospital. Let me take a moment to call out the fact that this company was by no means pushing me, they were in fact very supportive and understanding, it was all me. At that moment, it didn’t matter that I was still trying to figure out breastfeeding or only sleeping a few hours a night or figuring out how to not break down when the baby wouldn’t stop crying. I was just going through the motions. I can do this, I would say to myself, but really I was just compartmentalizing everything that was truly going on in my head.?

Let me skip the boring stuff and get to the end – I did not get the client. Honestly though, despite how hard I was pushing and how badly I wanted all the stars to align, once I was able to step away and digest, I realized how relieved I was. I knew that if I had gotten the client, I would have had to immediately start the search for a new team member, invest in new software, start outlining new systems, and much more – all of which was very doable, it just meant that the “maternity leave” I granted myself would have been non-existent.?

I was trying to show everyone – and mainly myself – that I could do it all, that despite having just given birth, I wasn’t going to skip a beat. There’s an unbearable amount of pressure that we as women put on ourselves to continuously prove that despite changing factors in our lives, we are still high performers – as wives, employees, friends and mothers.

In hindsight, I can now see that not getting the client was probably the best thing that could have happened to me. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try again, or that I’m not already working to take my business to that next level.?

Listen, this is still new territory for me, and I don’t have all the answers yet. But I have learned that juggling entrepreneurship and motherhood is a constant give and take. The only way you can “do it all” is by defining what that means in your own terms – not relying on someone else’s definition of success. Trust yourself and your needs.?

If you’re anything like me, there will be moments of stress and anxiety that make you toe the line of doubt, questioning how you can be both a great mother and a great entrepreneur. Just remember, your will and ambition is much stronger than that doubt. But if you’re ever in need of an extra pep talk, I’m just a phone call away, ready to remind you just how much of a badass you really are.?