Moments that change you

Careers are long, we are supposed to be “on,” giving our best for the majority of our day and our week for 40+ years. In that long period, a lot happens, we don’t remember most of the details, sometimes we don’t want to remember. But every once in a while, something happens that really changes you.?

Here is one of those moments for me: it happened very early in my career.

For context, I remember as a child going to my dad's office and if we stayed late, there was a cleaning crew that would come in. My dad would treat them with such respect, trying to give them their space for them to do their job, being cordial with them, proper “good evening” when they arrived and “goodbye” when they left. I didn’t think much of it at the time.?

When I got my first job, I was a programmer, so I used to work long hours, and in the office where I was working a cleaning crew would arrive every night. I would do what I always saw my dad do, be cordial and respectful. One day I wanted to clean the fridge in the kitchen of the office, and that night I asked the man if he could lend me his cleaning supplies. He told me that he would do it for me, that they weren't supposed to clean the fridge, but that he would do it for me. That was the first time that someone who didn’t report to me helped me reach a goal.

I didn’t think about it for many years, until I started leading cross-functional projects. In those projects, you have to lead people that don’t report to you. So technically they don’t have to do anything you ask them to do, or give it any priority. Yes, you can play politics if the project has high-visibility and importance, but your best chance is to create a relationship even before the project by helping them with their challenges. You don’t know who will work with you in the future, so help everyone you can, really, why not? You will learn a lot too, I promise you. If they join the project: communicate the goals and vision constantly, be a facilitator for them, remove obstacles, make the decisions they cannot make on their own, and give them all the credit.

If you do that, you will get the best of everyone and you will collectively reach the goals. More importantly, everyone will have more moments that change them.